Secrets

Chapter 14

Life was unfair. Since I was a little kid, I was wondering why some people are lucky while others aren't. It didn't depend on person's behaviour - I knew that since I was five. This one moment in the kindergarten changed the way I saw life, literally. I was an innocent child, always smiling and happy with everything and everyone until one unfortunate day.

When one day a doll from the kindergarten disappeared, this girl, named Jessica, told the teacher it was me who stole it. The teacher believed her even if I tried to convinced her that it wasn't me and Jessica lied. But she was sure I was the stealer because I played with the doll the most so it had to be me. And because I couldn't give it back - obviously I didn't have it - she punished me and for two days I couldn't play with other kids - I was siting alone in the corner.

At that time, my parents were already working for most of their time, so they haven't really knew what was going on at home. Luke was still a teenager, he couldn't deal with this situation properly. He did the best he could - he gave me an emotional support through my first breakdown. He hugged me that night until I fell asleep.

It was the first time when I saw the life was so unfair - I didn't do anything wrong but I was punished anyway. I lost some of my child innocence that day.

Soon after that day, a new girl came to our kindergarten. Small, red head, with two braids kid - Zoe.

"Hi, my name's Zoe. Do you want to be my friend?" She asked and smiled. I could see she didn't have two teeth in the front.

Since that day, she was my best friend. She was looking at the world the way I did. She understood me and I understood her. We literally completed each other.

Two more years of kindergarten were spent happily. The Jessica girl moved out after one year and no other kid were as bad as her. We had other friends with who we spent time on the playground and later in primary school.

The first years of primary school were spent exploring new surroundings and new people. We grew up a little bit. We became more arguable with others, we had our own opinions. But we still were sweet little girls. Overall primary school was a good time in my life.

Then was a middle school which were full of drama. First kisses, first boyfriends, first bitches around us. But together we went through all of this. Zoe's and mine family situations were similar so we understood each other and supported each other.

Soon after we turned sixteen, our happy life was supposed to end. One night I got a text from Zoe saying "I'm fucking moving out." This short text made my heart stopped for a second.

You could say don't be so sensitive, you'll find a new friend. But Zoe was mine and I was hers. It was supposed to be like that forever.

So we spent our last summer together the best we could. We made a lot of memories, done some illegal things. It was happy summer, but also very sad. We had some nights when we cried next to each other, but we tried to stay positive for the most of the time.

It wasn't the end of the world.

We knew we still had trains, cars, planes and she wasn't moving out to the other side of the world - only to the next state.

We still had our phones. We promise we would call each other every day. We would meet at every occasion we could get.

But as usual, things didn't go as planned.

After a year of calling and texting almost every day, we started to get distant to each other. I could guess we would end up like that. We were teenagers, she found new friends, she had new school - I was surrounded with old friends and old places. We both had different lives now. So we started to calling not so often. I still knew what was going on in her life and vice versa. By the time we were seventeen she got her first serious boyfriend. She was so happy that almost every our conversation was about him. At the begging. Of course, I was overjoyed for her, but it soon changed. We started to talk even less often. And as the time passed, I could see her smile slowly disappearing, she wasn't so glowing as she used to. I couldn't do much - or so I was telling myself - we haven't seen each other in person for over a year. I tried to talk to her, asked her what was going on. Her response was always the same - everything's alright, you don't need to worry.

The next year passed, we both had some big events in our lives, our eighteenth birthdays, first jobs, even first cars. We barely talked at that moment. I guess we got used not to spending time with each other. We both went separate ways. But I always felt like some part of me was missing. I wanted to go back to what we had.

I tried to text her more, call more. But she usually didn't answer. Occasionally, we could talk for half an hour and then she would disappear again.

After some time, I realised it didn't make sense anymore - to try get it fixed.

Only if I knew, that if I could try harder, things might have went so different and I still would have my friend with me - at least on the same planet.