Chapter Nineteen: First and Foremost

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The magic pulsing out from Athanasia was blinding and powerful. They couldn't see or approach.

Gales whipped around. Completely on her lonesome, Athanasia had unintentionally conjured up a magic storm. And she wasn't even aware of it, unresponsive to anyone's calls.

"Alice, don't!" Felix grabbed her cape to pull her back when she pushed on regardless. But of them all, was it not most dangerous for her? Her magic was not what it was before. And Lucas advised, reminded, that as long as they didn't use magic in each other's presences, they would be alright.

He didn't want to go through that first instance again, of when they first fell ill because of Athanasia having too much mana that was attracted to her. The whole field was being filled with the princess's mana, turning into a blizzard with its wildness. Alice was already bleeding.

"It's too dangerous for you to-"

Regardless of what pulled her back ― his voice, his desperation, his hand ― she pressed forward.

Before the kingdom, before anyone else, before his majesty, even before Felix, Alice had decided that Athanasia would take priority over everything else in her life.

In that garden, you saved me.

That was why she couldn't just walk away from her, when she was in danger.

Everything I have is because of you.

The cape she wore, of the royal guard uniform, snapped and fell from her shoulders. Felix was left clutching it, no longer able to hold her back.

"ALICE!"

She ignored Felix, instead calling out to Athanasia, "Princess!"

Please, princess.

Scratches appeared on her face as she pressed further into the cutting air.

Give me an order. Give me a response. Even a little movement is enough.

A memory of sitting next to her, reading from a large book, flashed through her head.

Let me save you.

Her feet were wavering and stumbling. It was evident she was about to lose consciousness. She could see that Raven was starting to fade amidst the bright light. Its eyes were closed, accepting whatever was coming for it. But Alice couldn't accept this.

"You can do it, Alice."

Her feet stalled. It seemed she was about to give in. But she only steeled herself to continue.

How could she give up on that girl, or on herself? That child still believed in her. Her mother did too.

"Uggh!"

It felt that her skin was going to start peeling away from her. She could no longer see. Her vision was swamped with light. The air was cold. So was the grass on her face, she realized, coated with frost. Her legs gave out.

She wasn't quite sure, actually, what she would've done if she made it to the princess. All she wanted was to reach her, to make sure she was okay, to somehow ― and she didn't know how ― get her to calm down.

In the end, I―

White noise filled her ears, too much that she could barely hear her own thoughts. And she thought, perhaps, it was time for her to die. Now, now, now. This would be a good time. To die from a magic explosion, trying to reach the princess, rather than a curse that would leave her shunned.

Did I do ever anything?

She suddenly felt lonely.

Princess. Are you there? Mom. Mom. Can you hear me?

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