Ephemeral

February 4, 2021

[A/N: Trigger warning: please read with care. Some content may be unhealthy for some readers.

PS. I used English language in this story to practice my vocabulary. Should you notice some grammar errors, I'm very willing to be corrected. Teehee.]

Story begins here:

~~~~

February 4, 2021.

I woke up, not really happy, but not heavy as well. Unlike these past days that waking up is so hard, today feels like, I don't know, maybe a little lighter?

I took a shower and went to the dining room to grab my breakfast.

"Goodmorning DJ" It was my stepmom putting the scrambled eggs and hotdogs on the table.

"Did you cook them?" I asked.

She smiled softly and said, "I'll just get some bread."

Then one of the maid said, "Didn't you know? It was ma'am who always prepares for breakfast... Isn't she sweet?" then she put the rice on the table and went back to the kitchen.

Then, my stepmother came back with a plate of bread in her hands.

"I'm sorry." I said.

I'm sorry not because I didn't know she cooked the breakfast for us. It was for another reason.

She smiled and answered, "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." I repeated.

I closed my eyes all this time, seeing what I only wanted to see. She's not a bad stepmom. I'm the bad stepson.

"Why?" she asked in a sweet tone.

I couldn't answer.

"Don't worry, I know." She said as she carressed the baby in her belly.

I couldn't look at her.

"All these years, you're just faking how you treat me and you're still grieving over your mother's death, right?"

"I'm... sorry..." I stooped even more.

"Why are you apologizing when you're the one who had it hard?"

She went near me and put her hands on my hair. "It's okay. Heal until you're ready... okay?"

Just then, Daniel who just came from his room with a paper on his hands ran to his seats and grabbed a hotdog.

Mouthful of hotdog, he proudly said "Look what I draw!" then waved the paper.

He ran to his mom then ran to me and showed his drawing of our family. He was explaining a lot but I was so preoccupied to even listen.

I wondered, was this family really happy? Or were they just faking it, like me?

~

I walked my way to school and decided to pass through Kimberly's house. And when I was one block away from it, I saw her and her mom rode a taxi.

It's not that I'm being nosy, but Kimberly didn't mention yesterday that they will be going on some trip or something. But noticing that Xiuxiu was not with them, maybe it's not a trip, after all.

And so the day went on just right. And I was planning to have another visit to Kimberly's house but some part of me asked why would I do that. So I decided to go to the bridge instead, and shook away any thoughts of her.

I sat there and tucked in my earphones as I watched the orange sky overtake the blue. The more I shook away her name, the more it grew inside my head.