Look For Her

Chapter 2

 "I know what happened to your friend.", it whispered to my ear, it's voice so deep and scratchy, it makes the hair on my arms stand and my feet cold, but I continued to pretend. It isn't the first time it tried to speak to me and manipulate me emotionally. The mention of Minjoo's name, however, made my stare on the screen falter slightly.

"Don't you wanna know what happened to her?", it continued to whisper. I could feel my chest start to feel heavy with anger as I knew it was trying to use my friend to get me to budge. I didn't react to what he just said. I already know what happened—she died. What more do I need to know?

"Don't you wanna know why?", he asked like he could read my mind. That's the part I don't know, why did she? Why did she do that to herself? I felt like a shitty friend for never even noticing that she was suffering inside of her own home. She knew my deepest secret, but I don't know hers. If only I cared a little more, then perhaps she'd still be here, perhaps she'd still be inside my room with me, laughing, crying, or at least just breathing.

I felt like crying once again, as the memories I've been trying to suppress the past few days of her came flashing back into my mind. I could feel a single tear trickle down my face, a lot more followed, making my face warm but damp. I was so used to being the negative one, I never noticed when she was sad or hurt. She was always laughing and smiling at me and everybody, I never noticed the scars and bruises she tried very hard to hide. I was used to being the one who vent out all of my problems and insecurities, I never got to ask her if she was okay too. Only now did I realize that she wasn't okay the entire time, only now that she's gone. Only now did I realize that I've been selfish and self-centered the entire time. If only I asked her at least once, then perhaps we'd both still be alive and happy.

I heard the demon snicker as it knew it was able to get a reaction out of me. I could feel the hold I had on the mouse tighten and my anger slowly consume me as it let go of the chair and started laughing maniacally. I gritted my teeth and continued to stare at the screen again, unconsciously and aggressively shooting every person I see in the game in an attempt to continue pretending that I didn't hear anything that he said. He abruptly stopped laughing and tightly held the chair again.

"Don't you wanna know WHO caused your friend's death?", he whispered again, now much closer to my ear, close enough that I could feel its breath, which I found stupid because it's clearly not alive. I suddenly remembered the bruises that I found all over her body, Minjoo's father, and the horrible smell of alcohol and cigarettes, making my breathing heavier and quicker.

"You've seen the bruises, haven't you? Do you really believe that SHE could do "that" to herself?" I paused momentarily because of what he said and almost looked back. I had an idea what he was implying but was still rational enough to not believe a demon. I then remembered how hopeful Minjoo looked when she talked about our dreams and the future, how sure she was. Suddenly, the rational part of me started having doubts.

"You know it's partly your fault too, right?" it said making me snap from my thoughts and making my lips quiver. I knew that what it said was right. I knew.

"I can help give you all the answers you seek. I know you have a lot of questions.", it said as its hands moved slowly from the chair to my head. It languidly moved his hands up and down across my hair. It hands were rough, giving me fear instead of comfort.

"I can help you.'', it whispered once again. I hesitated for a moment but chose to be rational and continued to ignore whatever the demon was saying. I continued playing the game, even though I could not focus at all as my heart felt heavier now and all the questions never left my mind as soon as the demon let out those words. It became silent for quite a while, only the sound of the clicks on the mouse and keyboard could be heard.