Humari Yaadon ke Shraman

Will you be mine?

By itssanjh

They say, if he can’t respect you, then maybe he doesn’t deserve you. But I didn’t know what to think at this point in my life when I knew he was hurting. Still, that didn’t give him the right to insult his mother, aunt, sister-in-law and me.

My Shravan! A sigh escaped my mouth, it seemed so foreign even to my ears. I was getting married to Aditya. That very feeling of being with that man, made me want to puke my gut out. If I had ever dreamt about getting married, it would always be with Shravan. I didn’t fail to notice that little quiver of his chin when I entered the Malhotra Mansion with Preety and Pushkar. I didn’t fail to notice every time he wanted to say something but ended up saying hurtful things about me. I didn’t fail to notice how his eyes kept coming back to my waist where Aditya’s hand was resting while dancing.

Wish I could tell him, how I bathed the moment I came back home just to wash out the feeling of Aditya's touch upon me. How I wish I could tell him, that I loved him, it's his father who didn’t want to see me with him. Wish I could tell him, I was marrying that Aditya just so Nanu didn’t feel sorry thinking that he has failed to take care of me.

I looked around my room, every corner of it screamed the memory of ‘us’ together. He said, if us - women are happy in the bedroom, then we don’t care about other things in life. I chuckled, “How could you not see the responsibilities sitting on my shoulders, Shravan? How could you not understand the turmoil that’s been wrecking my life since the moment you had walked out of my life? How could you not?”

A scream bubbled inside my throat. I wanted to thrash, I wanted to cry . . . ‘I want Shravan, I love Shravan.’ A fat tear rolled down my cheeks. Instinctively, I pat it away and jolted up from the bed. Crying was a luxury for me, which I could not afford, not for the last ten years at least. I had responsibilities after all. I couldn’t be weak.

Putting out the light, I unceremoniously fell on the bed. Sleep and I were not on talking terms now. My nights spent with the colourful fantasies in which I was with Shravan.

A shrill noise of my phone broke my musing . . . Shravan. An unknown fear gripped my heart. He was already drunk when I left his house.

I clutched my comforter and held the phone to my ear, “Shravan?” I whispered, “Are you alright?”

“Why can’t i stop thinking about you?” He grumbled.

“Shravan?”

“I am trying, you know, I am trying to accept the fact that you are not mine anymore.” He sighed, “I am trying to not imagine you with Aditya, but every time I close my eyes, I see you with him, I Just . . . What am I supposed to do? How to  . . .”

Stifling my sob, “Where are you, Shravan?” I asked.

After a long pause, he answered, “Here.”

That’s it. I threw the comforter away and ran towards the main door. If anyone saw him, especially Mamiji, then . . . I almost took the door off its hinges when I came outside the house, only to see he was sitting on the swing.

“Shravan?” I sat beside him. Soft breeze playing with his now dishevelled hair. His eyes cast down on his joined hands, “Shravan!” A lingering drop of tears fell on his palm. I didn’t need to think, as slowly my arms came around him. “Please don’t . . .”

“Please make it stop.” He clung to me, “It’s hurting so damn much! I can’t breathe, Sumo, I can’t . . .” He sobbed in my arms. His head pressed against my ribcage, his hot tears soaked my t-shirt, “Sumo,” He tightened his hold as he wept like I was the only light he could see in a dark tunnel.

There are moments in life where you think, let all hell loose, seeing Shravan like this was the last nail I could bear. “If you don’t want me to be Aditya’s, then make me yours.”

Shravan shifted in my arms, as he looked at me. His eyelashes clung to each other as he blinked to clear his mind, “Sumo?”

“I . . .” At that moment, the way Shravan was looking at me, I could tell that I didn’t care about the promises I had made, I didn’t care about the responsibilities I have, all I cared about was the man in my arms. It was long due that he got what he deserved. The acceptance, the assurance that he was way more important than anything . . . anyone in my life. He would always come first.

Taking a deep breath, I gathered my wit, I was about to face the biggest truth of my life, “I love you, Shravan. I have been in love with you ever since I understood the meaning of love, and I will do anything to be with you.”

He blinked again, as though he didn’t know if I was telling the truth, “Do you . . . will you be mine?” His warm breath fanned upon my face as he gained his full height still holding me in his arms.

“Yes.”

“Sumo,” he hesitated as his eyes slowly took in my features. As his eyes claimed my every unspoken word, his lips descended upon mine. If eyes are the gateway of the soul, then maybe lips are the same for the mind. His rough hands caressed my cheeks, I snuggled more into him as I took in his intoxicated scent laced with the smell of alcohol, “I love you. I always have . . . marry me.” he mumbled against my lips.

Shravan stopped, maybe waiting for my answer. His eyes searched mine, “Will you marry me?”

“A hundred times YES.” His lips came upon mine as if to brand this moment, fierce, passionate with full of promises of the future.

I knew, his father wouldn’t agree easily nor would Nanu. We were to face hurdles that we didn’t know were coming, still, seeing this beautiful man in my arms, with love dancing in his eyes, with his lips caressing me like an unsaid prayer, I knew, I was ready to face anything in the world.

Leaning my head in his chest where his heart ran a marathon, I looked up at the sky. Whoever is sitting there, I threw an open challenge, ‘Bring it on. This time I am not going to fail Shravan.’

***

This is it. We all wanted to see 'this' Sumo. But alas! Happy anniversary to us. ❤️ May this year bring us new memories, new stories. 🎊🎊