The Nanny

Chapter 22

Onika's soft steps padded down the staircase to find Beyoncé stretched out on the sofa, lights off as she watched the TV on a low volume. "Jr. and Ny-Ny are finally asleep," Onika informed Beyoncé, breaking the young woman out of her half-TV, half-internal reverie.

"That's good," Beyoncé commented softly as she noticed Onika at the other end of the sofa out of the corner of her eye. As the older woman moved around the armrest as if to take a seat, Beyoncé swung her legs over and set her feet on the floor. "I think I'm going to take a shower. I rinsed off earlier, but still feel kinda grimy."

As Beyoncé passed quietly by Onika, the older woman quickly reached out toward the young brunette's back. "Wait," she said softly, desperately. "Could we talk first? Please."

"I haven't made up my mind yet, Onika," Beyoncé replied, turning around to face the older woman.

"You keep saying that you haven't," Onika countered. "But I think you already have and just haven't verbalized it yet."

Beyoncé was silent as she stood there, wringing her hands in front of her, looking down at them.

"Otherwise would you really have allowed me this afternoon to touch you that way I did?" the older woman asked softly. She stepped closer toward Beyoncé, placed her hands gently on the brunette's hips, looking up into light eyes. "You want this as much as I do, Beyoncé. Will you finally admit it so that we can move forward and be together, please?"

"Just tell me one thing," Beyoncé said softly, looking up. Tears welled in her eyes and Onika could see the reflection of the TV shining brightly in them. "Promise me that whatever it is we're doing, that it's not just a big, exciting adventure for you. Promise me that as soon as the summer is over and I start back to classes, you're not going to walk away from us. I have to know you're as invested in this...this relationship as I am."

"Oh Bey," Onika whispered, releasing Beyoncé's hips and reaching for the brunette's hands. She wove her fingers with Beyoncé's. "I am. You know that I am, and I promise. I love you so much, Beyoncé, despite the short time we've known each other."

Beyoncé looked down. "On the beach," she began, "when you started talking a-about..."

"Michael," Onika filled in immediately, seeing Beyoncé's struggle to say his name. "I know it made you uncomfortable and I'm sorry."

A shrug. "Me walking away when I did probably seemed suspicious to Lena and Stef though."

Onika's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure what they thought actually."

"They thought we were a couple," Beyoncé explained. "Well they did until you sent Jr. to sit under the umbrella and he mentioned his dad being in Japan this summer. Then they found out I was the nanny." She pulled away from Onika and stepped around her to sit back on the couch. With a sigh, she put her elbows on her knees and rested her chin in her hands.

Silently Onika turned around and joined Beyoncé on the couch, sitting only inches apart, despite the ample room on either side of Beyoncé.

"When you introduced us, you just introduced me as 'Beyoncé' and not 'Beyoncé, the nanny.'" Beyoncé said quietly. "And the more you talked, the more ambiguous it became and suddenly it sounded like you were talking about us when you said 'we' and not, you know...so I think they just assumed you meant you and me."

Onika turned her head to look at the young woman. "Did it bother you that they assumed we were together?"

Beyoncé sighed heavily and clasped her hands together, sitting up straighter under Onika's scrutiny. "I think...I think I was bothered because I don't understand my place, Onika. I mean, yes, I'm the nanny to your children, but that's not...I don't know."