The Nanny

Chapter 25

Onika pushed the door open the rest of the way as she reminded herself to breathe. It felt as if the air in her lungs had suddenly been sucked out with a vacuum.

"Baby you're back..." Michael greeted cheerfully. "So where exactly did you and the children go? I've been waiting on you for nearly two hours."

"Euh..." Onika's mind suddenly blanked.

Suddenly the children cried out from behind her, "Papa, Papa!" as they quickly brushed by her and rushed toward their father.

Onika could only turn around to look at Beyoncé. Desperation, fear, and a look of utter helplessness had already settled in her features. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and she closed them, biting her lip as she tried to quell the panic rising within her chest.

Behind her, she could hear the children excitedly talking to their father, and even though no actual words registered in her mind, she imagined they were excitedly telling him all that they'd been doing this summer and their visit to the beach. Clicking a button on her car key remote to unlock the trunk, Onika finally opened her eyes and headed straight to it, no longer able to meet Beyoncé's gaze.

Without any prompting, Beyoncé met her there and before Onika could pull a suitcase from the trunk, Beyoncé gently gripped her wrist and stopped her. "What the hell is he doing here, Onika?" she asked quietly, panic evident in her voice.

Finally Onika lifted her tear-filled eyes to meet Beyoncé's and slowly pulled her wrist from Beyoncé's grasp. "How would I know? He didn't even tell me he was coming!"

"Well then what are we supposed to do now? Just act like nothing is happening? I don't know if I can do that very well anymore." Beyoncé took a deep breath and let it out harshly.

"You have to," Onika replied, wide-eyed at Beyoncé's warning. "Beyoncé, we both have to. He can't know, not yet. We have to act, well, normal until I can talk with him, okay? Please tell me you understand that."

The brunette's expression soured. Gritting her teeth, Beyoncé then replied, "Of course I understand that, Onika. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"I didn't mean to imply...I'm sorry. I really didn't mean anything by asking you if you understand. I just needed reassurance."

Beyoncé breathed out, running her fingers through her hair. "I know. Sorry. I'm just really freaked out right now."

"Me too. But I suppose now I do need to warn you before we go inside, however," Onika continued softly before pausing, brushing her hand across her forehead as she broke eye contact with her lover. "Even though Michael and I aren't sexually intimate anymore, he is still physically somewhat affectionate with me sometimes, particularly in the presence of others."

"Meaning?"

Taking a deep breath, the older woman said, "Meaning he still kisses me, though only ever a quick peck on the lips if others are around, and occasionally puts his hand on my lower back, or his arm around my waist. Touches like that."

It was Beyoncé's turn for devastation, finally realizing that someone else, someone who she thought didn't even deserve Onika at all, would be so physical with her, especially with others around. "Nicki." Even with one word, Beyoncé's voice cracked.

Brown eyes rose to meet Beyoncé's light brown eyes. "I know, okay? I know it'll be hard for you to see, and now it'll be hard for me to have to welcome his advances when all I want is for it to be your hands and your lips, but I don't have any other choice right now. Just know that I will spend every single moment wishing it were you."