Shattered Pieces of Trust

Panimula

Panimula...

Greeted by a gloomy Sunday afternoon, I walk pass our parking lot to reach the foyer of our warehouse. Or perhaps, the gloominess was just for me. Despite the fact that it's still summer, unlike any other juvenile who's travelling to places along with friends, here I am at our factory.

With my attitude like this, mindless about how to start a conversation and how to maintain it. I can't even make friends. Thankful enough, Mama and Papa doesn't like to have gatherings disparate from other families out there.

However, I've noticed Mama's indifference lately after I started my teenage years that makes me irritated. She's making me date boys that I don't even like!

Tila bawat buwan simula nang mag 13 ako ay may nirereto s'ya sa'kin! Hindi ko naman mga nagugustuhan, at sa tingin ko, ganoon din sila sa'kin dahil tuwing nasasabak ako sa blind date ay hindi ako nakikipag-usap. If not listening to music, probably just playing on my phone.

"Callie—"

"Clamentine." I said firmly.

He chuckles awkwardly, "Sorry. Clamentine, okay... Don't you like the food?"

I stare at him for a moment. Hindi makapaniwalang kahit na hindi binibigyan ng pansin kanina pa'y nasa harapan ko pa rin s'ya.

I just don't like talking. I'm certainly not good at communicating, always saying the wrong things.

It's better to shut my mouth. Less embarrassment. Less mistakes.

They're only staying so they won't disappoint their parents. I know because that's my reason for staying too.

One thing I don't understand is bakit ngayon?! I'm only 14 for Pete's sake! Pakiramdam ko'y gusto n'ya na akong mag-asawa agad, o ano.

But then, I know she only worries about me dahil tila wala akong nagugustuhan. I only have few friends, only two I can really call my close friends. Mama even accuses me as a lesbian, and I'm certainly not.

I'm not anti-lesbian, or anything, but I'm not one of them. I always think that's ridiculous for Mama to say, pero iniintindi ko na lang.

"Ang laki talaga ng kwarto mo, 'no? Kung ganito kwarto ko, baka 'di na 'ko lalabas," ani Denver isang araw nang bumisita s'ya sa bahay. "Ito pala, pasalubong ko sa'yo! Baka sabihin mo ikaw lang ang nang lilibre sa'kin! Mayaman din ako 'no!"

"Wala naman akong sinasabi..."

"Ang lamig sa Greenland, 'te! Sabi sa'yo dapat sumama ka e,"

Nagkibit-balikat lang ako at umiling.

Kahit naman payagan ako nila Mama ay hindi ako sasama dahil family outing nila iyon, nakakahiya kung may excess baggage.

Denver's my closest friend. Seatmate ko s'ya noong unang pasukan pa lang at hanggang matapos ang unang taon ng aming high school. Hindi man inaasahan, namulat na lang ako at s'ya na ang lagi kong kasama.

"Pero sabagay, kahit naman siguro hindi ka sumama may mapupuntahan ka na rin naman ngayong summer. Kayo pa, e taon-taon yata kayong nagingibang bansa para mamasyal,"

"Hindi naman,"

"Sus! Hindi naman! Don't me, hoy! Nahiya ang kwarto mong pwede nang maging penthouse at ang malaki n'yong bahay! Kung hikain ako, baka atakehin na ako bago pa makarating sa pintuan,"

Umiling lamang ako. He's exaggerating everything. Hindi naman pwedeng maging penthouse ang kwarto ko. Though if I'll really compare, my room is somewhat bigger. Perks of an only child.