{panic(king): changki}

7

I'm still blissfully high off of boba, spending time with Kihyun and the last text he sent me. I make my way down our hallway, my hand going to my pocket for my key. I place it in the lock and turn before gently pushing the door open.

I'm surprised to find Hyungwon awake, reading something on his laptop while eating a pint of ice cream. He seems like he's desperately searching for some kind of answer, and clicking between tabs. I don't think he even notices me coming in.

"Hey hyung," I say, and he waves at me, not taking his eyes from the screen. "Are you working on a research paper?" I ask.

He hesitates before answering. I can tell by the way his eyes flit toward me, then back to his computer. He reaches up a hand to gently close the laptop and finally gives me his full attention. "Can I ask you an important question?" he asks.

"Uh, sure? Go ahead." I throw out my empty cup and flop on my bed. He shifts to turn and look at me.

He takes a breath and I raise an eyebrow at him. "What do you do when you think someone likes you and you don't know how to tell them you like someone else without hurting them?" He seems to ask it all in one breath and I think it's the fastest I've ever heard him talk in all my years of knowing him.

I blink at the taller boy sitting across from me, clearly expecting an answer. What would I know about this? I just realized I like Kihyun after almost four years of knowing him and a dynamic of friend flirting and unofficial dates.

Hyungwon lets out a resigning sigh. "You don't know," he says. He shakes his head, running a stressed hand through his blonde hair.

"I've never been in that situation before," I tell him, my eyebrows knitting together sympathetically. "I'm sorry, hyung. I wouldn't know what to do."

"Liking guys is just..." Both of his hands freeze mid-gesture, almost as if he's acknowledging an orchestra. Then they fall back to the bed. "Hard."

I nod, agreeing with his statement. I at least know what that feels like. "Can I ask you a question this time?" I almost don't want to, but the question asks itself before I can stop it. He nods, and I bite my lip before opening my mouth again. "Does it have anything to do with Hoseok?"

He bites his lip and looks away from me. The picture at lunch, and the way Hyungwon easily captures all his attention is obvious. There's always a small smile on Hyungwon's face when he looks back, but I can tell it's not the same. I can tell Hyungwon feels something, but it's not the same kind of love that Hoseok feels for him.

"Sorry, it's none of my business, I shouldn't have asked," I say. I look down at my hands.

"No, it-it's okay," he says. He doesn't elaborate, though, and we sit in an uncomfortable silence. I want to text Kihyun, to give myself a distraction from all of this, but then I remember he's busy. And Jooheon has work today too, so my thumbs have nothing to keep them busy.

I look over as Hyungwon flops back onto his bed. I purse my lips in thought for a second, trying to imagine myself in his situation, with someone else liking me while I liked Kihyun. "Hyung?" I say, and he turns his head to look at me. "I think you should tell them."

His eyes widen and he blinks at me. "Which one?"

"Both, eventually. But I mean the one who likes you. The one whose feelings you don't return," I say. "If they know you like someone else sooner rather than later, it's better than if you continue lying to them." He nods and looks back up to the ceiling, his own lips pursed in thought. "I don't want to see you getting hurt either, though, and staying like this is not good for you." He nods again, still not saying anything.