Clearing

Chapter 8

NSFW warning
(again lol sorry)
(i'm just kidding i'm not sorry writing this is fun)

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I awoke in the dark, not sleeping for as long as usual, since I had done absolutely nothing yesterday before falling back into bed. I braced my feet on the cool wooden floors, pulling myself upright and shuffling towards the window at the end of the room. The curtains were drawn, but I pulled them apart slightly to look at the sky.

Again, it was perfectly clear, the moon directly overhead.

Midnight. I thought to myself, running my fingers across the grain of the wooden windowsill. I noticed movement amongst the grounds, and my eyes focused onto the figure that made their way across the grass and towards the woods. The figure I would recognize anywhere.

Again, he somehow managed to sense my presence, his head turning to look up at my window. It was too dark and he was too far for me to make out the expression on his face, but he raised his hand and lifted his pointer finger, beckoning for me to follow before turning and continuing on his way.

Anger stirred in my chest at the command in the gesture, and I turned away from the window, pulling the curtains closed and sitting back on the foot of my bed. I sighed quietly, trying to stop myself from going after him.

The flower on my bedside table caught my eye again, and I held it by the stem, tracing the petals with my fingertips.

It was beautiful in the faint light that faded through the drapes, the gentle ridges of its petals so delicate in my palm. I wished that it hadn't merely been a taunt.

After a little while, my anger and curiosity got the best of me, and I cursed at myself as I yanked on my shoes and dropped the flower back onto my bed, not taking as much care this time as I stormed out of the door. Mikasa would hear me leave anyway, and sneaking out only made it seem more suspicious.

My jaw was tight as I quickly made my way down the stairs, choosing to leave through the back door again in case there were people watching at the main entrance. My hands scrunched into fists as I stomped across the grounds, twigs snapping under my feet as I followed the path to the clearing where I was certain Jean would be waiting for me.

I was right. He was sat in the same place he had been the night before, his back to me and his face tilted towards the sky. I didn't hesitate as I burst through the trees, and he raised an eyebrow as he saw my gritted teeth. I came to a stop in front of him, and he stood, tilting his head.

"What?" The corner of his mouth pulled upwards.

"Don't 'what' me." I hissed, raising my hand to grasp at his collar, pulling his face down to my level. "You think you can just summon me and I'll come running? I'm not your dog."

Something unrecognisable flashed across his face before it darkened, turning almost cruel.

"You say that," He said, his voice low. "but here you are."

I hated that he was right. I tugged his collar harder and he stumbled slightly, his face now directly in front of mine.

"You're so full of yourself. Do you ever take a damn moment to realize that maybe you aren't as great as you think you are?" I seethed. I felt guilty as soon as the words echoed in my head, and his expression shifted again.

I knew that I was overreacting. Nevertheless, I was embarrassed, and I felt humiliated, and there was nobody to blame but him. And myself, of course, but I couldn't really yell at me.

"I-" He started, holding his hands in front of him.

"Shut it." I practically growled at him. "You're an arrogant, presumptuous idiot, and I hate you. I hate you."