My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Ten

Chelsea's POV

I'd never loved rush hour traffic so much. 

The September night was already getting dark at 5:30, and in the glow of street lights I was able to look over at Miss Chandler - or rather, Brooke - as she in turn gazed apathetically the road. 

As it turned out, we were going the same way; she only lived one town over from me, and even knew my street. Her sister had lived two streets over, years back, she said.

Brooke's phone rang six times in a row and she was making no effort to look at it. "Should you...get that?" I asked, wondering.

"No," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm dodging that bullet."

I laughed. "How do you know who it is?"

"Who else would call me six times in a row?"

It started ringing again, and she sighed. "Okay, I should get it."

"No you shouldn't," I said with a little too much edge now that I realized who it was. I knew I hated her girlfriend without even knowing her. For one, because I knew she upset her far too often; and two, because she had what I never could.

That apparently made her laugh. "What do you know?"

"I know that you let your girlfriend push you around," I stated as fact. 

She looked over at me, quizically. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I know you've given her way too many shots. And she pisses you off, but you always go back. And every time you do something, or almost do something," I said, hoping she would get my reference, "You think about her first. She's always the first thing on your mind, even before yourself. And now, you're afraid to make her mad by ignoring a couple calls. "

She laughed, impressed. "Have you ever thought of becoming a paralegal?"

"No, why?"

"Because my girlfriend's a paralegal, and it seems like you'd be good at it."

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you for proving my point."

"Okay, what's wrong with putting someone else first?"

"Nothing, when they put you first, too."

"And how do you know she doesn't?"

"Am I wrong?" 

She didn't say anything for a while. Then, finally, admitted "No. You're right. About everything."

"Sorry," I said. I don't really know why, but I felt the need to say it.

"For what?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "The truth can hurt."

"It hurts more when you're the one lying to yourself," she said, though more as a statement of fact than any profound lesson. Still, I wished I could just shake her out of it. I wished she wasn't so hung up on this one woman who didn't seem to give a damn about her. I wished she realized how perfect she was, and how she deserved someone who did too.

She turned onto my street then, and parallel parked right in front of my house.

"Thanks for the ride," I said after the car had stopped. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know," she said. "I wanted to."

"Thanks," I said again.

"Anytime." I'd had enough girls drive me home in my life for me to know what came next, but for once it just didn't seem like the time. I opened the door and stepped onto the street, but there was one more thing I had to tell her. 

"Brooke," I called before she drove off, daring to get close enough to use her name because it seemed as though she needed to be close to someone in that moment.

She looked at me, and nodded.

"You're beautiful," I said, letting the words hang on air. "I just thought you should know."

To my relief, she smiled her perfect smile, and it didn't seem forced. "Thanks, Chelsea," she said. "You are too."

I shut the door and she drove away.

______

I was the first one into homeroom the next morning, as I was becoming more and more frequently. I think it had something to do with my feelings for Brooke combined with the general apathy of my classmates. When I got in, she was hastily organizing things and putting them in folders and putting the folders in boxes. That told me something was up.

"Did you call her?" I asked knowingly, not needing to elaborate.

She looked at me with a guilty expression and nodded.

I shook my head. "You never learn."

"I need to start listening to you in the first place, you know."

"I know," I said arrogantly. "What did she want?"

"She wanted to know where I was," she started, making a face, "because she came by and I wasn't there. Sometimes I think she forgets that I have a job. Now she's like, 'If you're seeing someone else, just tell me, Brooke!' She's really too much sometimes."

I had to laugh at her impression. "Tell her you are."

"As if. I probably wouldn't live to tell you how it went."

"She's the jealous type?"

Her look said it all. "Oh yeah. I can't even look at another girl without starting World War III."

"So you've never cheated? In your life?"

She shook her head. "In my life." That was so her. As much as it surprised me, coming from her I believed it completely.

"Wow," I said. "That's cute."

"Don't get me wrong," she said, shrugging. "It's not like I don't think about it."

"So you do?"

She smiled. "I am right now."

That's when the door opened with the first influx of students. I'd probably never find out what she meant.