My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Thirty Six

A/N: You know what kills me? A couple chapters ago you guys were all like "I hate Kate mlah mlah mlah" and now you're all  "OMG KAATEE!" Like...I don't even know. You're all exhausting. -___- But I love you. (:

And yes, I completely exaggerated on the "omg kate" but you get the picture.

- Railene

Brooke's POV

I'd showed up at Liliana's apartment the following morning, mostly just to hang out, but also because my conversation with Kate the previous night had taken me aback slightly. I tried not to make it look like my main priority in coming over, but I practically couldn't help it. Within half an hour of being there, I'd brought it up.

"So, Kate said something kind of surprising last night," I ventured, testing the waters.

"She grew a heart?"

"Lil," I complained. wanting her to put her hang-ups about Kate on a shelf and listen to me. 

"Okay," she said, understanding. "But I have the feeling that whatever it is I'm not going to be surprised."

"Why?" 

"Because you're always shocked by the things that are completely obvious to everyone else," she said as if it were common knowledge.

"That is untrue!" I protested.

"Okay," she said, obviously still convinced. "Then blow my mind."

"Kate broke up with her girlfriend," I began to explain.

Liliana laughed. "Shocker."

"What, was that completely obvious to you?"

"Brooke, it's Kate. What's more surprising is that the girl lasted this long without dumping her ass."

"I lasted two years with Kate," I reminded her.

"Unfortunately," she said. "You're passive, she's aggressive. That's why."

"Okay, fine," I said. "But Kate broke up with her. Do you find that surprising?"

She just laughed again. "No. She probably didn't take her shoes off when she got in the house."

"That's not why," I pushed. "This is the really surprising part."

"Alright," she said, sounding amused. "Go ahead. Shock me."

I bit my lip before saying awkwardly, "She says she's still in love with me."

She gave me a look as if she was missing something. "What's the surprising part?"

"That was it!" 

"What, like you didn't know?"

"Like you did?" I almost yelled, confused and frustrated.

"Brooke, really? Of course she's not over you. She's crazy for you. You probably just don't notice because you confuse it with her regular craziness."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She sighed, because apparently I wasn't geting it. "Okay, I mean obviously Kate is out of her mind. I'm the first one to admit that. But every time she would tell you to 'wear this' or 'do that' or 'don't talk to her,' it came from insecurity. She was afraid of losing you. But, she did."

"She cheated on me," I reminded.

She shrugged. "She says it was an accident."

"And you believe it? You can't stand Kate."

"It's not about me," she said matter-of-factly. "I'm just giving insight."

"Okay, but she moved on so quickly. If she felt that strongly about me, she wouldn't have been able to."

"Brooke, you say it yourself that that girl was just another you. Didn't that clue you in?"

"I thought that maybe she just had a type," I reasoned.

"That's a pretty specific type, Brooke."

I didn't know what to say then. I knew what I was thinking, but I didn't know if I wanted to verbalize that fear that was welling inside of me.

Quietly, as if at any moment I was ready to take it back, I asked the question on my mind. 

"Did I make a mistake?" I almost whispered.

"When?"

"With Kate," I said, growing quickly in hysteria. "Was I too harsh? Should I have even broken up with her in the first place? I mean, we were in love. We had two years of history. And she really, really cares about me. Maybe I shouldn't have done it. Maybe I hurt her."

"Okay, relax. Brooke, I know you, and I happen to know that you've never made a decision in your life without agonizing over it first. And I think you and I both know what being with Kate was doing to you. You wouldn't have broken up with her if you weren't sure somewhere deep down that it was what you needed. And the way you and Kate are now is fine. You're friends with an ex. Do you know how rare that is? You talk, you hang out, you laugh, and she came for you last night. She's there for you. And she stopped trying to control your life. All at the same time, you have a girlfriend, who actually respects you and who is totally in love with you. The way I see it, it couldn't really get any better, Brooke."

I said nothing, letting what Liliana had said sink in. She was right. She was completely right. I had it good. Why would I go messing with it? Kate would be okay. She would get over me. She would go off and find someone else, like I had, and eventually things would be okay.

"You're right," I admitted. "I should be happy."

"Are you?"

I thought over it, long and hard. In fact. I'd been thinking over that same question for some time now.

Finally, I knew I was. I had amazing friends. I had Chelsea. I loved Chelsea. Chelsea loved me.  It was time for my life to settle back into place,  where after what felt like years of turmoil where something always seemed to be going wrong, I could finally relax into a period of rest.

 ___________

After I'd been home for an hour or so, my phone rang. It was Chelsea, and I was excited to hear from her.

"Hey," I said, sitting down with the phone.

"We did it," she said, and her voice sounded like she was smiling.

"What?" I asked, not really understanding.

"I talked to the Athletics Director after the game last night. He seemed impressed. Really impressed."

Now it was my turn to smile, though alone. "He did?"

"Yeah," I said. "And he said he wants to set more of the athletics budget aside for us. He thinks we're going places."

This felt like a dream finally realized. I knew how well the girls had done, but I also knew how stubborn the athletics department could be. Even if he didn't plan to follow through with what he'd promised Chelsea, I certainly didn't want to ruin her day. And I decided I'd like to play optimist and assume he'd been telling the truth. "Really?" I asked. "That's awesome. Congratulations."

"You know we couldn't have done it without you," she said, taking the honor off of herself. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to our team."

"All I did was give you the tools to get you to where you are," I said. "You took it there all by yourselves. And I have a feeling it didn't hurt the team to have such an amazing captain on their side," I commended.

"Or an amazing coach," she said. "Really, Brooke. Thank you."

I was smiling again. "Don't thank me. Where are you?"

"Home," she said. "Why?"

"Come over," I said. "I want to talk to you."

"Talk?" 

"Or something like that," I said.