I gave you my social media,
And ever since then and a bit before I have loved you,
That exact day you text me and we talked and got together. I can't begin to even tell you how happy I was. After like two days we seen each other in person for the first time dating. That day I was full of happiness and anxiety. After second block I walked you to your class and we hugged before you walked in the class. I felt so free in those few moments. After that we didn't see each other until the last block because we seen each other in the hallway. Then we seen each other as we waited for our buses,
Before you got on the bus we hugged and after that I couldn't stop smiling. Then that weekend I stayed the night with them and you texted them all night/day. When I left their house you ended it with a lie. Then two or so weeks later,
They texted me in other words asking for my permission to date you. The next day I find out you together. Finding that out hurt me even more,
Because the lie you left me with hurt but then finding out it was a lie made me feel worse. During the time you and them were together,
Not only did I cry and have panic attacks in the class I have with you but they also kept giving me more signs that they liked me. One of those signs was when we kissed and I felt so bad for kissing them so for a few days I tried figuring out how to tell you. Once I finally did you were pissed,
Out of anger you ended it with them blocked them and yet was still my friend. But you kept leading me on. Like when you asked that question in which I lied to you of my answer but when I bring it up again you were with another. After finding that out all I could do is sit in my room crying and cutting. Few weeks later I got with them we were together for a few weeks but then a bite down the road Me and you were talking and I told you it was complicated because it was. So I ended it with them in that same night me and you became friends with benefits, funny thing was that only last for a day I cried over it because I had ended things with them and then you hurt me again and because that seem to be the only way you would talk to me. In the amount of three months. I have cried over you smile because of you I found myself then lost myself worse than before became weak to the thought of you and now all I feel is numb but happy at the thought of you,
All I want is for you to realize that what you need is me right in front of you crying screaming out your name,
And yet still holding my arms Open wide for you to walk into smiling and feeling free as I do. I've been through a lot that is affecting me really bad this is my first year high school and it's been fucked up. I have broke down on my knees so many times and now I have fallen down on my knees and I can't get up,
You've got me on my knees screaming out your name and any confusion wondering why you've put me here why you won't let me up for air for anything.
