Have Hope

33

Y/N POV

Things were surprisingly peaceful and rather pleasant between Kelley and I on our walk back to the hotel. Neither of us spoke much, but that didn't matter. It was nice spending time with the older defender alone.

Even though we've been roommates for the last 8 months, we didn't often find ourselves alone together. There was usually always someone else in the room (Alex, most of the time).

Despite having spent the better part of the last hour trying to calm down, as we entered the lobby, a fresh wave of emotions hit me, almost making me want to turn back around and leave again.

I could tell Kelley felt the same way when she slowed her stride, her body language communicating her hesitation to enter the conference room.

Without a second though, I put my hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"We got this, don't worry."

The shorter woman nodded, looking unconvinced, but grateful for the reassurance. 

We arrived at the doors of the room and stopped just before opening them, meeting each other's eyes. 

With a silent word of encouragement, we pulled the doors open together, entering the room.

Just as Jill had said, the entire team was already in there waiting. Not even a step in and you could already feel the energy, the tension. It was so thick, not even a knife could cut through it.

It seemed as though everyone was holding their breath, watching us as we walked down the small isle between the chairs. Kelley and I took the seats we normally did during meetings; I sat between Alex and Allie, while Kelley sat next to Allie, with Ash next to her. In the row in front of us was Tobin, Pinoe, Christen, Ali, and Crystal.

At the very front of the room stood Jill, Dawn, Mark, Erica, and my mom, Hope.

"Okay, everyone, thank you all for coming back. I know things are confusing and quite frustrating, but I promise it will make sense. I'm going to let Hope explain first, and then we'll go on from there. All we ask is that you listen." Jill said before patting Hope's shoulder and stepping aside.

"Um...honestly I don't even know where to begin." The blue eyed woman rubbed her palms on the sides of her jeans. "I suppose I should start from the very beginning. As you all know, I had my first U20 national team call up when I was 16. That year, I found out I was pregnant, the father being the boy I had dated at 15, who had taken my virginity. We had broken up many months before I found out, so going to him was already out of the question. It was the start of my professional soccer career, I had just met Jill, and things were really taking off for me. I didn't want to risk jeopardizing any chance I had of going pro because of my circumstances, but I also couldn't bring myself to terminate the pregnancy. I spent so many late nights agonizing over the choices I had. I could have either gotten an abortion, accepted Jill's offer, and graduated high school early, or I could keep the baby and choose to put off soccer until I was ready to play again. I was...I was really scared."

She took a deep breath.

"I remember one night, after practice Jill came to me and I broke down. I explained to her what my situation was, and she asked me "what do you want, in life?" and I remember thinking for the longest time until finally telling her "well, I never want to stop playing soccer, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of this baby. I want a child too, but I can't have both." Jill asked me a question I'll never forget; "why not?" She said, "Hope, if you want something, if you want two things, then you're gonna have to fight like hell to get there, but I promise you that if you care enough, you will. You have to trust yourself. You have to trust me. You have to trust your team." That night we made a plan. I was to carry out the pregnancy and give birth under the privacy of USSF, all the while continuing my training for the team and hiding the fact that I was about to become a mother. Somehow, against all odds, we were able to hide it from everyone. The only people who knew were Dawn, Jill, Mark and Erica."