Not a one shot but it's really funny so here you go
Triggers - Swearing, sexual references
•••
Jack: I'm trying to draw Davey but he looks like a crack addict
Davey: I'm awful at talking to people and I don't know if it's the social anxiety or the autism
Albert: It's a shame drinking and driving is illegal cause it would be so much fun
Davey: Did you just take paracetamol with day old coke?
Jack: I've taken antidepressants with whisky. Bite me
Race: You legally cannot stop me from eating this rock
Spot: I will stab you with this
Elmer: The pen?
Spot: You heard me
Albert: This acid is perfectly shot sized
Davey and Katherine: *discussing the metric size of Japan*
Jack: ???
Race: Seriously, what repercussions would come from me just biting this rock?
Crutchie: *gagging* don't eat straight rock salt
Buttons: Dessert spoons are bad. I've had bad experiences with dessert spoons
Specs: Well my glasses just fell off my face, which is nice
Davey: I've learned that whenever I think I've done well in something, Ive actually completely fucked it, but when I think I've messed something up I ace it. A horrible mentality for life but it's what I'm going with
Race: I've swallowed glass pebbles the rock cannot hurt me
Jack: I've been drawing when I was supposed to be revising and it doesn't even look good so what does that make me
Spot: If you put that penis looking rock next to me one more time I will shove it down your throat
Race: Kinky
Albert: Be honest, lava looks delicious
Davey: *visibly distressed* no-
Race: *holding crushed sandstone* If I snorted this what would happen?
Albert: That's a hench ass unicorn
Race: How fucking dare you look me in the eyes and tell me I would be Hitlers perfect person
Elmer: Dessert spoons. Are evil
Henry: How dare you swear in my god damn fucking Christian household
Romeo: I'm telling my therapist about this
Race: That we called you eighty?
Romeo: He won't be happy
Davey: I don't care if Hitler advocated against animal cruelty, he committed mass fucking genocide Susan
Crutchie: Hannibal Lecter is gay? We have peaked as a species
Specs: Just because something can be gay, doesn't necessarily mean it should
Romeo: Bet
Finch: My eyes feel loose
YOU ARE READING
Newsies One Shots
Fanfiction~Majority of ships are Javey or Sprace ~Requests closes ~Those marked without -[ship name] aren't ship related ~No NSFW ~Triggers at chapter beginnings ~Some have prompts, some don't. Typos are inevitable ~These definitely improve the newer they ar...
