Crackfic(s)

Ruler of Everything

TW // blood, death
(Tally Hall song)

George stumbled upon Dream making out with...

"SKEPPY??!!!!"

Dream hid his face, whispering "omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg" over and over, ashamed at being caught.

Skeppy stared George down. "DREAM IS MINE NOW!!!! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!"

George slapped him.

"HOW DARE YOU?! DREAM LOVES ME! HE SAYS IT ALL THE TIME!!"

Skeppy glared at him, hand on his stinging cheek. "HE DOESN'T! HE TOLD ME SO! Didn't you Dream?"

Dream cowered in the corner, afraid of both of them.
George and Skeppy angrily continued fighting and it turned into an all-out fistfight.
Bad heard the noises and understood what happened. He was heartbroken.

He ran away to hell.

He burst dramatically through the gates, sobbing about losing Skeppy's love. He fell to his knees at Satan's throne.

Meanwhile Wilbur was being very entertained. He was in such a good mood he felt like playing guitar.
His aggressive music set a backdrop for everything that was about to happen:
CHOKE ME LIKE YOU HATE ME BUT YOU LOVE ME
LOWKEY WANNA DATE ME WHEN YOU FUCK ME

It was a mystery how he could play this on the guitar and make it sound good but somehow he did it.

"Oh Lord Satan," Bad said through his tears. "I know you probably haven't forgiven me for breaking up with you last time and running away with Skeppy, but he has abandoned me, and now I don't know what to do."

Satan leaned down and lifted Bad's chin. "Oh I know, you're angry aren't you?"

"Yes." Bad stood up with resolve. "I hate him. I hate everything now. I want to see it burn."

Satan smiled. "Let's burn it all then."

A short demon interrupted them, "Hey guys can I join? I wanna melt some stuff too!"

"Shut the fuck up Quackity!" Bad banished him to 50 years of torture, since he was higher up than him on the demon totem pole.
"Melting is stupid, we're just burning things to the ground."

Satan laughed and took Bad's hand, together they went up to the surface, promising attention and love for the rest of eternity.

Dream had fainted from all the stress.

Wilbur was still screaming lyrics
GIRL YOU FUCKIN' WITH THE WRONG ONE
FUCK HIS TEAM, FUCK YOUR CLIQUE, I'M ON ONE

Skeppy and George were both bloody with wounds, since they had been fighting for several hours (hell time is different [yes Wilbur's been singing the same song.])

Finally Skeppy had enough. He started placing TNT all over Dream's house.
George realized what he was doing and scrambled outside. Then he remembered he forgot Dream, who was unconscious on the first floor.
George frantically ran back in and threw Dream over his shoulder- they just made it to the doorframe when it all exploded.

George's ears were ringing and he had a concussion from being blasted like 100 feet through the air and falling on the ground.
He distantly heard Satan and Badboyhalo laughing maniacally as they committed arson on the world. He also heard Wilbur singing his heart out.

Dream woke up and ran over to George, holding him in his arms. "GEORGE! Are you okay?"

George looked from his worried face to the smoldering remains of his house.
He stood up. Then he pushed Dream back in the dirt. "No."

"What?" Dream cried from the ground, terrified and confused.

"I don't love you anymore," George said emotionlessly. "I can't love a homeless person."

Then Skeppy fell out of the sky in between them. He was in the air that long.
Luckily there was a tiny puddle on the ground that stopped his fall, so he didn't take any fall damage.

The planetwide temperature was rising as fire consumed the earth, so the puddle evaporated. Crazy laughs from Bad and Satan echoed around everything, rumbling the ground and making George cover his ears. It was so loud and so hot it felt like a stroke combined with a fever dream combined with an acid trip.

Skeppy was used to Bad's crazy laughing so it didn't affect him. He was singed and his floofy hair was smoking as he smiled at George sociopathically.
"Time to die, Georgie-worgie."

"You can't kill me," George sneered.

AND SHE WOULD FUCK MY BEST FRIEND IF I DIED HERE TODAY!!
Wilbur sang, he was deafened and his guitar was on fire but that only made it more awesome and it fueled the chaotic energy in his heart.

Dream was on the verge of death for multiple reasons.

Skeppy stood with his back to him and crossed his arms at George.
"No u."

George gasped.

Skeppy pointed at George and unleashed his worst troll.
"14"

George fell to his knees as the power of 14 flew through him and ransacked his body with pain before he exploded into memes.

Skeppy smiled.
George was dead.

Wilbur also smiled as chaotic energy consumed him right before fire spread to where he had been standing. There was only a pile of ashes and the indestructible beanie.

Skeppy was on a murder high, but it ended when he turned around and saw Dream's skeleton burned to a crisp. Not like the minecraft skeletons, but like Luke's aunt and uncle in Star Wars.

Skeppy fell to his knees in despair. He had no reason to live, no reason to kill anymore now that Dream was dead.
He begged for death and let the fire surround his body.
But it detected his extreme trauma and left him alive to suffer more.

Meanwhile Bad broke up with Satan and forced him out of hell and the burned earth, so he had no choice but to ascend and become God in heaven. Bad found Skeppy on the earth, but he was still mad at him for cheating, so he stepped on him.

Skeppy poofed out of existence in a puff of temporary smoke; he was not granted an afterlife or any continuation of existence in the known and unknown universes.

Badboyhalo reigned over more than Satan, and thus won the breakup.
He controlled Hell and Earth, which is basically the same thing. He was the ruler of everything.

The End.
>:)

This is somehow 1k words. I wrote it in an hour last night around midnight.
It's my first crackfic so feel free to leave feedback on what I can do better, or what else you want to see.
This exists because of my discord server, and they got to see me write it and contribute.
Thanks to hurb, Cookie, frog, Nick, and Nameless for helping me out :D
Join the discord if you want more of this and you want to be a part of it