Rainbow Road [Super Mario Bros.]

7

All right, Luigi had to admit it: he had a...interesting time in the bath.

They were public, which made him extremely nervous at first. But when he finally walked out of the changing room with Mario, ready for a good soak, he became distracted, because to get to the bath, he had to walk across the sky.

Not really, of course, but it truly felt like it — the Horizon Hotel's baths were located in the basement of the establishment, and here the walls were black stone and the floors were glass. So as guests made their way to and from the towel racks, the soap and shampoo dispensers, the showers, and the lounge chairs, they were literally walking on sunshine. Or clouds. Or space. Whatever happened to be visible through the transparent floor.

This evening, it was a sun-burnt sky and some lingering storm clouds, which made for another jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring sight. For one minute, at least — then Luigi's stomach swung with acrophobia, and Mario had to steady him as they went to the big spring right smack dab in the middle of the chambers. When he finally sat down in the hot water, the sight became awe-inspiring again.

It went that way pretty much throughout the entire time: one moment Luigi would be blown away by the extraordinary view, and then he would remember that the bottom of this hotel was suspended miles and miles in the air and become ill at the thought of what a horrific fall that would be.

Still, by the time they finished and were walking back up to their room, chatting about what they might want to order for dinner, dressed in fluffy red and green robes, Luigi concluded that he'd had a good time, thanks especially to the heat — with his muscles already loosened from the stretching, he now felt quite a bit more limber than he had going in.

Wario was gone — thank stars! — when they returned (probably out to order another mountain of take-out, Mario assumed), but he'd left his stench and a sizeable mess behind. Since he knew that Wario probably wouldn't bother cleaning it up, Mario set his teeth and went about doing it for him, dumping all the fast-food trays into the garbage, sweeping scraps off the floor, and wiping up puddles of duck and soy sauce that had been left on the table.

"When he gets back, let's swipe his room key," Luigi said hotly. "You leave a mess, you lose door-opening privileges."

"No point," Mario said, even though he liked the idea. "We're only here for a day, and I don't want any fighting. You just focus on figuring out what you want to eat. Didn't you mention sub sandwiches?"

"That was you, fitness freak." Luigi flopped down on one of the beds and consulted the room service menu. "I was talking burgers. And no junior cheeseburgers, either — I'm talking angus beef, triple mega size. I burned every last carb in my body today, I need to refuel."

They bandied on a bit, but eventually settled on roast beef sandwiches and two orders of seasoned waffle fries. While they waited for the food to arrive, Luigi turned on the TV — which had only five Earth channels, but about two dozen channels filed down from Orbit City — and Mario took a call from Daisy.

"You guys all settled down for the evening?" she asked.

"Yep. We had a nice bath, and now we're ordering room service."

"And Luigi? Is he okay?"

"Fine now that he's in a robe and fluffy slippers."

"Don't let him get too comfortable. Remember we've got roll call at 6:30 tomorrow, and we're also doing a short yoga class to warm up."

Mario groaned. He'd forgotten about that. "He's not going to like that."

"Ply him with cider. You didn't lose it since the cafe, did you?"

No he didn't, and their room had a microwave. Still, he was not going to enjoy the amount of energy it would take to get Luigi up at the crack of dawn.

Room service arrived twenty minutes later... Along with Wario, Waluigi, Ludwig, and a couple of Dry Bones. Each had an armful of fast food. Mario did not approve.

"This is our room, not a pub!" he snapped. "We've had a hard day, and we want to rest. There's a cafeteria downstairs, can't you guys eat there?"

"The cafeteria ain't got a flatscreen and speakers," Wario grunted as he dumped two bags onto the table: they were filled with cheeseburgers. "Hey, greenie! Pass me the remote."

Luigi stiffened. "But I was watching a show," he said.

Waluigi twisted his head as he fished out a carton of mozzarella sticks, just in time for the title of Luigi's show to flash across the screen: A Hooski, A Robot, and Me. "You watchin' a soap?" he exclaimed. "On cable? What century are you from, greenie? Give it here. We'll show ya how to enjoy some real entertainment!"

He strode over and snatched the remote out of Luigi's hand, and then flipped through until he hit the racing channel. It showed a MarioKart street race through Orbit City between ten contestants. Toadette was one of them — Mario was pleased to see that she was in third place, and creeping up. That's right, she did get shot up into space for that, I remember her telling Peach about it.

One of the Dry Bones clacked in displeasure. "Dry Bowser is in ninth place," he rattled. "How'd that happen?"

"I told ya, it's that dang cart," Wario said after stuffing an entire burger into his mouth. "What's it weigh, two tons? Even with the anti-grav drives? I'm tellin' ya, he could do wit a bike."

They started up a chat about statistics and go-kart gear. Mario wanted to protest and shut it all down, but his eyes kept getting drawn to the screen. My, how Toadette's driving skills had improved!

Luigi crossed his arms and pouted. Waluigi noticed.

"Wipe that stinkin' look off yer face," he said as he tossed Luigi a burger. "Go on, enjoy the show. You like racin', don'tcha?"

It was almost midnight when Waluigi and the other unwanted guests finally left. And though they were relieved to see them go, neither Mario bro could outright say that they'd had a bad time watching the race.