Rainbow Road [Super Mario Bros.]

13

After that, the brothers hung around on the Plaza satellite for a couple more hours. Mario attended a meeting with the head of Twenty Mile Mall's security, who was highly agitated at Nabbit's escape. Mario couldn't blame him — the incompetence of his security team had nearly cost several stores a combined 1500 coins, which was no small matter, especially to the mom-and-pop joints lining the block.

"How'd he even get up here?" the head of security, a mustachioed toad named Toadsmith, cried. "I thought he was locked up earthside. Didn't you guys throw him in the dungeon of Peach's Castle?"

"Sarasaland National Penitentiary," Mario corrected him mildly. "And that was..." He cocked his head, thinking. "A good five months ago, I think, and he's known to finagle his way out of cages once his minders stop paying attention to him."

"Can you do something about him?" Toadsmith demanded. "When my supervisor gets word of this, he won't care that we — you — managed to save the gold — he'll throw me back to Earth himself!"

Mario tried not to grind his teeth. He supposed it wasn't this toad's fault that Nabbit had slipped through their fingers — the burglar was a wily one. But all the same... Like Luigi, part of Mario hated the prospect of having to work on vacation. But Toadsmith looked near tears, so he groaned. Obligation — my greatest weakness!

"All right. Do you have any security footage of the space scooter he used?"

They did, and twenty minutes later Mario had it downloaded on his phone and was heading back out of the security shack to meet Luigi.

His brother had spent the last couple of hours hiding, as well as one could in a shopping mall — he was in the tea shop he'd been thrown into, sitting in the far back with a hot cup of Earl Grey sitting before him. It was untouched — Luigi had buried his head in his hands, and was...growling?

No, groaning. The sound grew louder and louder as Mario picked his way over — the shop owners, a pair of Yoshis, were sweeping up the remains of the storefront window Luigi had crashed through, and offered Mario some chamomile tea when he came in. They were the only other ones in the shop — this appeared to be the least popular store in the plaza, which was a shame, because the Earl Grey smelled divine.

"Luigi!" Mario exclaimed. "What are you doing? Shouldn't you be helping them clean up? You're the one who broke through the window."

Luigi let out another groan and sat up. Mario was astonished — his brother's eyes were bloodshot. He'd been crying! "That's just it, bro," he moaned. "I can't go out there. I can't face them. I'm already a laughingstock! I don't wanna make it worse!"

Laughingstock? "What are you talking about? Why are you crying?"

Luigi said nothing, just held up his phone for Mario to see. A ToadTube video was pulled up on the screen, titled, "Luigi Home Run!" Mario pressed play, and a short clip of Nabbit spinning and spring-boarding off of Luigi played, including the segment of Luigi getting hurled through the tea shop window. Then the clip played again, only in slow motion, with exaggerated sound effects. It ended on a freeze-frame of Luigi's stunned face just as he hit the glass — a very traitorous part of Mario had to admit it was pretty funny.

"Someone recorded you?" he said lamely.

"Yes, bro! And it's gone viral!"

Mario's brow furrowed. "In two hours?"

"In two hours, bro! Don't you know how the Internet works?"

It was true: the video already had 776K views and 103K likes.

Luigi sobbed and buried his head. "Everybody thinks I'm stupid 'cause of how Nabbit whipped my butt. They're calling me pathetic!"

Mario sighed. They had a job to do and a walk to take. How was he supposed to deal with this? "Nobody thinks you're pathetic."

"Read the comments, bro! The comments!"

Mario indulged him, and got through about ten before he stopped. His brother was right, they were pretty unfriendly. "You know you're not supposed to take ToadTube comments seriously."

"But I do! And now..." Luigi wailed. "I wanna go home!"

Mario tapped his foot impatiently. "Well, you can't — we're twenty miles up. The quickest way to get home is to get to Orbit City and then take a ship back down to the surface." He seized Luigi's shoulder. "And besides... Are you really gonna let a dumb video upset you this much?"

"Yes! I look so stupid... That Nabbit made a fool of me!"

"Then stop whining and redeem yourself! Nabbit's still out there, and the head of security asked for our assistance in catching him. Wouldn't it be nice to be the one who grabs him by the ears and throws him in a cell?"

Luigi looked up at his brother blearily. He had to admit, that seemed like a clear way out of this sudden and striking humiliation. "But... What if I mess up again? What if I go to get him and he makes a complete fool of me again?"

"He won't," Mario assured him. "You've got data now. You know how he moves. You know how fast he is, how slippery he is. You can use that knowledge to your advantage and prepare yourself for our next encounter. Maybe you can even use his own tricks against him!"

The pep talk worked: Luigi sat up fully now, some of the pain finally clearing from his face. "You're right, bro," he said. "He...he's not gonna throw me through another window again. This time, I'm gonna be the one hurling him!"

"That's the spirit," Mario said. "Come on. Let's get going."

They headed out, and by the time they finally got back onto Rainbow Road, Luigi was pumped. "So what do we do first?"

"Let's walk and talk," Mario said. "Specifically, to the police."