Rainbow Road [Super Mario Bros.]

12

They were transported to the Plaza satellite by something Luigi thought of as a hoverboard; technically it was a horizontal elevator driven by the same metaphysical technology powering Rosalina's gravity wells, but during the short flight Luigi found himself bending his knees, lowering his center of gravity, and trying to hold down his gorge... Just like his last ride on a skateboard. So yeah, a hoverboard.

It dropped them off at the edge of the Plaza, a checkered brick walkway that went nowhere in one direction, but expanded into a street the size of a New Donk City block in the other. Also like New Donk City, the Plaza featured tall buildings, hole-in-the-wall restaurants wedged together, street food stands, and crowds of pedestrians. If it hadn't been for the dark, star-scattered sky above them and the fact that there were also buildings and restaurants on the underside of the satellite, Luigi would've thought that they were back on planet Earth.

Mama Mia's stood with a circle of other high-end restaurants in a circle surrounding a big, three-tiered fountain in the center of the Plaza's upward side. It was dark inside, and packed end to end with hungry customers, but because they were immediately recognized as the Mario Bros, the hostess cleared an occupied table for them, which they both felt highly guilty about. Luckily, a couple of autographs seemed to smooth any ruffled feathers.

Mario ordered the daily special, a super-sized three-cheese, three-meat pizza, which two of the waiters had to deliver with both hands. After a morning spent burning through his reserves of body fat, it was a perfect, delicious way to refuel. After the first tasty bite, Luigi's nausea went away, and because the place had a flat floor, four walls, and a ceiling, it felt like a regular outing in Toad Town; he began to relax as he tucked into the meal.

That was, until they heard the shouting.

The commotion was coming from right outside. It sounded like someone said, "Stop him!"

Mario was on his feet at once. "Luigi!" he cried, placing a stack of coins on the table.

Luigi looked at his brother like he was crazy. "But bro," he said, pointing helplessly to the pizza.

"Now!"

Mario dashed to the door, and Luigi groaned as he got up and followed. "We're not even on the clock!" he complained as he caught up. "Can't we just leave it for security, or whatever?"

Twenty Mile Mall security appeared to be having a tough time — when the brothers got outside they saw them — a group of Shy Guys in blue uniforms — chasing something down in a pack, armed with spears of all things. Mario suspected they were from Yoshi's Island.

They were following a squat figure in a ratty purple sweatshirt, one with giant floppy ears that gave him the silhouette of a rabbit. He had a giant knapsack over one shoulder, and as he vaulted over a bench, a hole tore in the bottom of the sack, spilling out about two dozen gold coins.

"Stop!" One of the Shy Guys squeaked. He was waving his spear threateningly, but he was about ten yards out of range. "Stop, in the name of the law!"

The burglar cast a snide look over his shoulder, and stuck out his tongue. Mario gasped.

"Isn't that Nabbit?" he cried.

"Nabbit?" Luigi wondered why that sounded familiar. "I thought he was in jail. Did he dig his way out again?"

"And bought himself a spaceship!" Mario exclaimed. "Look!"

He pointed to the far end of the Plaza. Hovering at the end of the road that went to nowhere was something that looked like a cross between a motorcycle and a one-seater canoe. Not a spaceship, exactly — more like a space scooter. This one had handlebars that looked like rabbit ears.

"We can't let him reach that!" Mario cried. He launched into a run. "Luigi, with me!"

Gulping, Luigi followed, all of that three-cheese, three-meat pizza beginning to curdle in his belly. Man, he really hated crime-fighting! Unlike Mario, he was no good at it — he had no feel for combat, and he didn't like hurting people. Maybe he could let Mario do all the work...

"Nabbit!" Mario roared — for someone so short, he'd rapidly closed the distance between him and the robber quite easily. "Going somewhere?"

Nabbit cast another look over his shoulder and scowled. "Mario Mario! Just my luck. I thought if I tried my sleight of hand up in space, you'd be too far away to knab me! Looks like I was mistaken..."

"So give up!" Mario shouted. "Don't make me get serious — I'm not supposed to be working today!"

Nabbit accelerated, making for the space scooter like Chain Chomps were on his heels. "In your dreams! I'm not going back to jail!"

Growling, Mario grabbed a trash can with both hands as he passed it and hurled it towards Nabbit. It missed by about a mile, sailing high over the burglar's head, but it hit the top of a street lamp, knocking off the top and sending a shower of garbage down onto Nabbit. Including a banana peel — Nabbit spotted it too late and slipped, crashing fantastically to the pavement and sending his sack flying. It also hit the ground and busted open, sending gold flying everywhere.

"Drat!" Nabbit cried, leaping back to his feet. "Curse you, Mario!" He bolted.

"No you don't!" Mario lunged for Nabbit and managed to snag the end of one of his ears. The fabric snapped them together like a rubber band, and they went to the ground, grappling viciously.

"Bro!" Luigi cried.

"Leggo!" Nabbit shrieked. "Leggo leggo leggo!"

They struggled for another minute before Nabbit finally managed to jam his foot between him and Mario, and used the older bro's chest as a springboard to launch himself away... Straight towards Luigi.

"Luigi!" Mario cried. "Catch him!"

Yeah, catch him, Luigi thought, sweating bullets as Nabbit sped towards him. Just catch him and throw him to the ground. Easy. No problem. No pro—

Nabbit spun midair and slammed into Luigi foot-first, using him as a second springboard and sending the younger bro right through the window of a tiny tea shop. Nabbit went the other way, closing half of the distance between him and the space scooter in one spring.

Then he was there, swinging onto the saddle. After seating himself, he spat out his tongue and started the gravity drive. "Better luck next time, chumps!" he cried.

He pulled away from the Plaza — Mario ran after him and tried to leap for one of the handlebars as Nabbit took off, but the satellite's gravity well caught him and pushed him back onto the road. He glowered after the burglar as he became a small glowing dot against the black cosmos. "Blast it!"

Nabbit had gotten away.