Harry Potter and the Bucket List

Year 4 - 7

Beta: Cloudy

(≖‿‿≖)ノ⌒●~*

Tom Riddle's first attempt at a homunculus body was a remarkable achievement.

It turned into a literal pile of ash an hour after midnight, but the fact that it worked at all was impressive. The Horcrux returned to me shortly after—a stipulation Tom had written into the ritual as a fail-safe, which I thought was neat.

I changed out of my dress and into something comfortable before I swept up the ash, tossed it in a bin, put away the dress robes, then enjoyed sleeping in my nice warm bed.

As much as I would have loved sleeping in on Boxing Day like the rest of my snakes, I had to get up in order to sneak Snape's Christmas present into his office before he noticed. He kept tossing them out, but I was putting in an honest effort.

"Your brown-nosing could use work," Tom chided in my head as I headed off.

"I'm not trying to be a kiss ass for the brownie points. He used to be my mom's best friend. They had a falling out before she died, and I know it's something she regretted."

Snape had been a taboo subject in the Potter house, but I did distinctly remember Lily crying on his birthday and James consoling her. From the bits and pieces of conversation I had unintentionally listened to, Snape and Lily did not part ways over him insulting her or joining the Death Eaters. No, no. It had been an absolute Dramageddon.

I didn't know all the details, but I knew it started after James got on his knees and apologized to Severus for his bullying. Lily encouraged Snape to move past the hatred—not because she fancied James, it was well before they were dating—but because she didn't want to see him consumed by his hatred of James. Snape flipped out on her and so began Dramageddon.

The ultimate result was James comforting Lily and Snape spurning her away for an entire year.

A year.

He ignored her over summer break, so when they returned to Hogwarts and he joined the Death Eater's and started calling her a Mudblood it broke her.

As I was not there, nor did I know all the gritty details, I couldn't claim which side was on the right or which was on the wrong. At a glance, they were both at fault. Lily's intentions were good, but a friend should never push their hurt companion to forgive if they weren't ready. Forgiveness was not a right for the abuser; nor an obligation for the victim to hand out. It was something the victim needed to come to terms with first. As his friend, Lily should have supported him instead of pushing him. On the flip side, Snape overreacted. No matter how triggering or hurtful Lily was, blowing up on her wouldn't do him any good. In fact, it did the opposite and drove her straight into James' arms.

If only the two had properly communicated with one another. Would Snape had still joined the Death Eaters—maybe as a spy right from the get-go? Or would he have found peace with Lily?

The shittiest part of it all was that Lily died before any kind of closure could be met. He never had a chance to apologize, or talk things through, let alone express his pent up emotions. He had so much pain and anger, and no one to vent it out to.

I doubt I could ever become a friend to Snape—I had been actively trying for literally years by that point and at best I was tolerated—but I wish I could do something.

"I wish I knew what Mom would do," I admitted to Tom.

"What would you do?"