☆:**:.linger.:**:☆

heaven and hell

may 30th, 1987

seattle, washington

"come on, molly, just open the door."

"fuck you."

chris groaned, banging a fist on the unmoving door, resting his head on the smooth wood.

molly had been in the bathroom for the past two hours. the sounds of retching, groans, and the occasional swear word being the only things heard. her little binge had it's consequences.

"let me help you molly," he said, softer this time.

silence.

"i don't want you to see me like this," she whispered.

despite the situation, chris laughed, "i guarantee i've seen you in much worse predicaments than this."

another silence.

the lock clicked.

slowly, chris pushed the door open.

molly sat on the toilet, wearing one of his old t-shirts and nothing else, holding a plastic trash bag between her legs.

she said nothing as she glared at him, wiping a hand across her forehead.

"not too bad," chris smirked softly, giving the girl a once-over.

"until i start shitting and vomiting simultaneously."

he laughed, like bells in molly's ears.

chris slid down against the wall, across from her.

they said nothing for a minute, basking in the silence.

"can i get you anything?" chris asked quietly.

molly shook her head mutely.

silence once again.

"do you ever think about what happens after we die?"

"jesus christ, are you still high?"

molly snorted, tilting her head back, resting it on the cool tile wall.

"i'm serious, chris," she said after a minute, giving him a somber look.

chris blew out a puff of air, pushing a few of his curls out of his face.

"i don't know. i'd like to think there's some kind of heaven, somewhere where you can find, like, peace, y'know?"

"do you think- do you think people who kill themselves go to hell?"

he sighed, running his hands through his hair, eyes resting on a particular spot on the ceiling.

"i don't really think people... kill themselves. that sounds stupid but, i think they're just- just defeated. they don't want to struggle to get out of bed every day anymore. with suicide, people act like the person who died didn't even fight, like they just gave up. they see it like- like they were the ones who were wronged. cause they lost something. cause now they feel grief. and none of that's true. if you kill yourself... i see it like you were just fighting for too long. and if there is some kind of god, i think they'll see that. they'll see that long, hard fight, and welcome you to a place where you don't have feel like that anymore. and they'll forgive you, i guess."

chris didn't realize how long he'd been zoned out talking, until his trance was broken by a choked sob from across him.

his head snapped towards molly, who had her head turned away from him, hand covering her mouth and eyes screwed shut, tears leaking out of the corners.

chris sat up on knees, nearly eye level with the girl due to his height, "what's wrong molls? what did i say? i- i'm sorry i didn't-" he rambled out, holding molly by her shoulders.

molly didn't quite know why she started crying. of course there was the obvious reason, the talk of death bringing up fresh memories of her mother's passing. but something about chris' words had struck a chord in molly, feelings that lay deep inside of her rising to the surface, coming out of every pore.

and now here he was apologizing, when she was the one with so much to be sorry for. molly wanted him to stop, she wanted to tell him he had done absolutely nothing wrong.

but she couldn't find the words.

so she kissed him.

grabbing the sides of his face, she pulled him in, her chapped lips meeting his pillowy soft ones.

chris moved one hand from molly's shoulder to cup her jaw, caressing it softly, the other moving to rest on the curve of her back.

molly could tell he wanted to reciprocate the kiss, deepen it even. but something held him back.

susan, molly realized.

she was kissing a guy who was already in a healthy relationship, unlike her own.

her own.

fuck.

chris wasn't the only one with a significant other.

with this thought, molly pulled back, fingers still tangled in his cascading curls, their noses only inches away.

the girl searched his face looking for a reaction, an emotion, anything.

chris' eyes remained closed, lips still slightly parted, warm breath flowing out.

"why did you do that, star?" he whispered, opening his electric eyes, molly able to see his pupils constricting with their close proximity.

they held onto each other, blue searching through blue.

just as molly opened her mouth to answer, the front door slammed suddenly, causing chris to drop his hands and look out into the hallway from the open bathroom door.

"anybody home?" a voice called.

"up here, andy," chris yelled, sliding back down to his spot against the wall, molly's arms falling to her sides.

as the sound of boots on steps drew nearer, molly tried to compose herself, wiping a hand across her mouth and running the other through her messy hair.

andy's figure appeared in the doorway, white leather trench coat reflecting off the fluorescent lights of the bathroom.

he grinned a crooked grin, looking down at the two.

"what have you kids been up to?"

new chapter!!

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