IN MY DREAMS [A POE DAMERON X READER STORY] [BOOKS 1-3]

chapter one

a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Even with a full eight hours of sleep and a mug full of hot caf, you couldn't wake up properly. Your dreams were too active nowadays to allow you much rest. But with training first thing in the morning, you knew you needed to wake up. And so you let yourself outside of the base to spend time in the below freezing temperatures outside.

You sat on the freezing cold snow with your legs crossed, your back straight as an arrow, your hands covering your knees. Your black robes blocked the cold from touching your skin, but the cold still found its way into your bones. With your eyes shut, you swore you could feel the frost forming over your eyelashes. Still, you breathed in and out, desperately trying to keep completely focused.

He found you thirty minutes after. You sensed him before you heard the crunch of his snow under his heavy boots.

"I've been waiting out here for you," you said, eyes still closed. "I've been waiting out here for a while now."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you were sitting out here, willingly freezing to death," Commander Kylo Ren replied coolly.

Your eyebrows raised. "I'm meditating."

"Looks to me like you're talking," he said. "If you were meditating, you'd be focused and silent."

You sighed and opened your eyes. The sky of Ilum was still a rich navy blue, even though it was well into the morning. "Well, maybe you're just distracting me."

"Come with me." He walked by you, his cloak brushing across the white snow that was well-packed into the ground. You stood up gracefully and followed him in step. "Are you going to tell me why you're so impatient this morning?"

"I wouldn't say I'm impatient," you said.

"I can sense your eagerness. It's annoying."

"My apologies," you said, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at him.

"You were restless in your dreams again last night, weren't you? You wake up and you're still tired."

"Yes," you admitted, staring at the back of Kylo's helmet. He knew you all too well. You couldn't keep anything from him. "Could you blame me? You told me there was something coming, and that it was something big. Something vital to the success of the First Order. And if I have to prepare and work harder in my training, then surely that has something to do with me. Right?"

"It has something to do with all of us," he said. "With the cause. But it is important that you work harder, and that you remain focused. You can't let your mind wander off of your improvement."

Your eyes dropped to the snow as he stopped in a clearing. You wondered if, were the planet of Ilum not to be one made of ice and snow, the clearing you were standing in would be a meadow. Full of lavender and tiny yellow daisies. Like the one you often saw in your dreams...

"___," Commander Ren snapped. Your shoulders jumped and your eyes were frozen on his mask.

You cleared your throat. This time, your apology slipped off of your tongue in sincerity. He was angry with you. You could feel it. "My apologies again, Master."

"Your mind is so easily distracted."

"I know," you said. You swallowed hard and unclipped the lightsaber from your belt. It was a completely black hilt, darker than even Kylo Ren's. Yours wasn't a crossguard like his, but it was just as broken in its crimson glare. Kylo had formed the weapon for you out of a broken kyber crystal, the same as his. Yours was far simpler and more elegant --- it was beautiful. You felt the familiar weight of it in your dominant hand. "I don't mean for it to be. I'll focus now."