Forget-Me Not

Chapter 12

   The place was packed when we got there. Luckily, Ludwig had called ahead and saved us a spot. Another admirable trait he held; always thinking ahead. Other than the chatter of those around us, dinner passed relatively quiet. Every so often I saw him reaching into or patting his coat pocket. He seemed more fidgety as well. Was he still upset about yesterday? Couldn't be. We were getting along so well today. No awkwardness, plenty of affection, and overall, we seemed to be having a good time. Pushing away the other possible things I did wrong, I lightly stepped on his foot in hopes of comforting him. The action seemed to be successful as he met my gaze. "Are you okay?" I asked.

     "Ja. I'm fine. Sorry... the conversation isn't really my forte."

     I gave him a small laugh. "It's fine. You just seem nervous is all."

     He reached across the table to take my hand in his to which I squeezed in return. "I think I'm fine now," he stated, giving our linked hands a tender look.  My cheeks went warm with what he was implying (and I must have been right to guess as such as Ludwig's face became red as well). We ate the rest of our meal, hand-in-hand.

--------------------------------------------------------

     After dinner and a little stroll downtown, the two of us returned home. As soon as we got back home, Ludwig went to put away our leftovers, leaving me alone in our entrance/living room. As soon as he left, my eyes drifted to Ludwig's coat pocket. Perhaps what had him so on edge at dinner was in that pocket. I looked over towards the kitchen to ensure Ludwig wasn't coming anytime soon. Having ensured I was safe, I reached into the coat, my fingertips grazing over a soft object. It felt like velvet.

     I pulled my hand out. 'I shouldn't be invading his privacy like this," I thought. I was about to head to the living room, but I couldn't help but wonder what the object was. Eventually, I ended up kneeling on the floor to get a better grasp.

     I reached into the pocket once more, grabbing hold of the velvet object. Pulling it out, I found it to be a small, maroon box. I opened it to find a silver band with intricate squiggles carved around it. Gorgeous was an understatement. It took me a minute to connect the dots to what this meant. It was an engagement ring. Ludwig must have been planning on proposing to me before all this hell broke loose, but now we were back at the start. I gripped the box tightly, my knuckles becoming white. 'I fucked this up,' I thought as my vision became blurry.

     I was too lost in my thoughts, that I didn't hear Ludwig re-enter the room. "Hey, Arth-Oh my God. What happened?" But his words were muffled to me as I stared at the ring. He dropped down beside me, gasping at the box I held in my shaking hands. Gently taking my hand that held it, Ludwig whispered, "It's okay...shhh." I didn't fully realize I was crying until his thumb grazed my cheek, wiping away the falling tears. Why was I crying? I didn't fully understand, but I felt completely embarrassed at the thought of getting upset over practically nothing. I always was doing that. Ludwig only pulled me against his chest as I let everything out.

     After a few minutes, I managed to even out my breathing and at some point, Ludwig had taken the box out of my hand. My eyes felt sore and my body sagged against the man in front of me. "I'm sorry," I murmured, my voice hoarse.

     "There is nothing for you to apologize for. I'm sorry for not keeping it in a better place."I shook my head, "you shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to do any of this."

     "Arthur..."

     "I messed everything up."

     "Arthur..."

     "Everyone looks at me with sad smiles and they'll act one way, like everything's normal, then they realize it's not and they go quiet... They talk about things I don't know and tell stories of our childhood and I have no idea what they are talking about. And that's not even the worst part." More tears began to fall as I tried to reach for the words to say. "There's so much you want to do. You want to get married for heaven's sake. And I can't follow because there is so much about you I don't know anymore. It's... all of it's..."

     "Overwhelming."

     "Exactly." I leaned further into Ludwig, just wishing to disappear from all this.

     I felt Ludwig's arms around my waist tighten and his breath against my ear. "You didn't mess anything up. Life did. We just have to roll with the punches, together. Forget about marriage. All I want is you Arthur and all I want to do is make you smile. I'm sorry for all those times I made you feel like this. Feel so uncomfortable. I should have kept everything under control."

     I felt my heartbeat quicken at his words. His own heart was practically beating out of his chest against my hand. There was a familiarity about this scene as if this is how we always were. I wanted to tell him it was okay but it was calming just listening to his heartbeat. My eyelids began to feel heavy.      "You can't fall asleep here," Ludwig's voice broke through my daze, "Come on, let's get you to bed." Ever so carefully Ludwig picked me up, hooking his arms around my torso and under my knees. That little voice, for once, had no protests.