The Fall And Rise

Chapter Fourteen: Secrets (Ariceli's)

I kept ahold of Alistar's hand both my wolf and I were overjoyed that he was allowing us to touch him, the sparks of the bond were flowing from our joined hands and traveling throughout my whole body. Alistar though was expressionless, almost zombie-like as he trailed slightly behind me at my side. I gave him the benefit of the doubt though, today I had forced him to see the man who made his life hell and forced him to meet my father, the king. This day would have been emotionally exhausting for him. "Are you okay Alistar?" I spoke softly looking at him.

He grunted and subconsciously squeezed my hand tighter as I opened the door to the room that would be his for the remainder of his stay with me "I don't know if I will ever be 'okay' Ari." He spoke as if he was in a faraway place.

"This will be your room for your stay." I looked around the room satisfied with the room my father chose, a large king-sized bed was placed in the center of the room covered with a forest green comforter, it had an attached bathroom and massive walk-in closet, a small fireplace and sitting area, a desk and a large TV.

His hand slipped away from mine as he walked towards the chairs in front of the fireplace. "It's nice." He whispered slowly looking around and then sitting on one of the large black couches.

I followed him over there and sat beside him. "What really happened Ali? Why did your family disown you? Why else do you want me to reject you?" I set my hand on top of his once more.

He stared at my hand for several minutes before finally speaking. "I thought you knew? That they would have told you by now, when you came and got me from the lake..." He glanced at me and then back to the unlit fireplace confused. "They didn't tell you?"

"Bel and Mae apparently know, but they only told me what I needed to know to get you here." I studied him a little harder, the day certainly took an emotional toll on him, it was as if he was drunk on numbness, and that was the only reason he was being this open with me.

"Ash, I killed him, Ari. I am a killer." His eyes met mine waiting for a reaction from me but I only tilted my head asking him to explain further. "Now that I know you are royal that makes this so much harder, if people don't reject me, abandon me..." He sighed and looked at the ceiling closing his eyes together tightly. "Then they die."

"What do you mean Ali? How did you kill your brother? And what does that have to do with people leaving you?" I leaned into him, trying to comfort him more.

He placed the hand that wasn't occupied under my own over his eyes and sunk deeper into the couch. "Dad pissed me off, you see, I wanted to go out on a trail but he wouldn't let me. So I snuck out, and Ash being the big brave brother he was followed me. We went together, I was young and dumb. I didn't know that the reason dad said no was that rogues had been sighted, right on the border we were walking towards. We were attacked by them, Ash was almost sixteen, he had already received his wolf. I wasn't old enough to have mine yet, he told me to run that he would distract them and let me get away first and that he would find me at our spot later."

"Go on," I whispered to him.

"I waited at our spot for hours, I had this feeling in my gut something wasn't right, so I went back..." he looked at me from under his hand. "They ripped him apart. He would still be alive if I hadn't been stubborn and walked out of the house after being told no, he died because of me."

"Ali, how can you blame yourself for that? You had no control over the situation." I looked at him, it hurt me to know how hurt he was.

"Because if I had a little control I wouldn't have gone out. He wouldn't have followed behind me, he would be alpha. I would still have a family. Dad blames me too, he couldn't even look at me after the border patrol found me clenching to Ash's body sobbing. That's why he disowned me."

I reached up to caress his cheek and he smacked my hand away. "This is why I can let you win Ari, I can't let myself be the reason a royal meets death."

I stared at him in shock for a moment before getting up and straightening my dress out. "We should head down for dinner," I spoke before getting up and walking towards the door, I could feel him standing up behind me and slowly trailing after me towards dinner. This was going to be harder than I thought.

We entered the dining room and I took a seat at the side of my mother with a huff and Alistar slowly slid into the seat at my fathers' side across from me.

"So Alistar, how do you like the place so far?" My mother asked clueless about the tension between the two of us.

"It's a nice home you have your majesty. Larger and more elegant than what I am used to." He spoke calmly, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Please Alistar, call me Rowenna. I never cared to be called by my title, it's too formal for me, puts distance in relationships." Mom spoke with one of her well-known warm smiles. Alistar simply nodded and picked at his food most of the dinner, only eating about half his plate before everyone excused themselves for the night.

He followed me back upstairs and I stopped and turned towards him when I heard him open his door. "Goodnight Alistar," I spoke coldly.

"Goodnight Ari." He replied softly entering his room and closing the door.

I half growled half groaned at his behavior before walking into my room and closing my door preparing for bed. As I laid in my bed thoughts were racing through my head, it would be a nearly sleepless night and I had a sneaking feeling that this is how it would be until the oath was completed. With my lying agitated and sleepless in my bed because of Alistar. I have to win this.