Alternative Title : Hetalia Characters As Quotes By Myself And People I Know
Italy : "my grandpa sent me a minion poncho"
Germany : "so you ate a weeks worth of tacos, puked, then the next morning wanted to puke again but ate a good taco and we're fine"
Japan : "why is the boat man completely undisturbed by a flat child"
America : "Hurger my burger"
England : "I can feel my youth draining from my body"
France : "I have ascended to entirely new levels of horny" / "sometimes i feel like if i get too sexy ill just become the next dictator of America"
Russia : "____ would you like to sell some organs👁️👁️"
China : "Haha. You stinky, I big brain. Nighty Night!"
Canada : "I'm being very compact and nonexistent today"
Prussia : "anyway u wanna see mothman's statue's ass?"
Romano : "don't make me give you cpr with my spaghetti breath"
Spain : *teaches Satan the Macarena*
Belarus : "let them stew in their own disgusting bastardly misconduct"
Ukraine : "so many boob, so little time"
Hungary : "Get yourself a man who'll grow six toes for you"
Austria : "most modern music came out of my butthole when i was 5"
Greece : "I'd still like to be surrounded on all sides by bananas"
Turkey : "Cuz like half the fat in my entire body goes into my THUNDER THIGHS"
Switzerland : "You're fine for a little bit but then you start to slowly die"
Liechtenstein : "Garfield man chased me through the library today"
Lithuania : "he walk in n be like "bih wake tf up" and slaps me in the head with a brick"
Poland : "Ugh- fine. Whatevs. Make sure to pick at your food so you don't get fat! #AppearanceisEverything"
Latvia : "You're fine for a little bit but then you start to slowly die"
Estonia : "the kid gave someone on rob lox the hand and they received a holy smite"
Netherlands : "I'm inviting you to my funeral. make sure to tell cool stories about me so i don't get cancelled for dying"
Belgium : "Soupy peanut butter"
Sealand : "does he weed?"
Finland : "My arms were just itchy and funky colors so I got worried but we're good now"
Sweden : "Oatmeal."
Norway : "Thanks no thanks, I'm saving myself for the bog witch"
Iceland : "i had an aneurism trying to write cauliflower"
Denmark: "Imagine if brains could shit!?"
Hong Kong : "Tradition stinky for the most part"
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YOU ARE READING
Hetalia shitpost headcanons
HumorI'm putting my crackbrain hetalia stuff here lmao, have fun getting your kneecaps compromised
