BTS - The Eighth Member

Poor Performance

I stumbled down the steps backstage, sweat sticking my hair to my forehead, completely panting and exhausted.

I was beyond frustrated at myself, I'd messed up the harmonisation between Tae and I, making us both sound bad. Then I'd missed a step and bumped into Jin, throwing us both off for a second.

Tears were forming in my eyes, but not because I was upset, but because I was furious at myself for doing so terribly. Not only did I make myself look like an amateur but I'd ruined the performance for the guys as well.

Without speaking to anyone, I brushed past my band mates and headed straight for the restroom, a stylist following me awkwardly, looking to touch up my makeup.

No one tried to stop me, the furious glare in my eye enough to deter anyone from even approaching me, besides the poor stylist. I had about 15 or so minutes of time before I had to be back on stage, the guys performing their own solos.

Quickly I stopped outside the door of the bathroom, sighing in frustration at the stylist who apologised up and down for having to reapply the look.

When she was done, I turned on my heels and shoved my way into the bathroom. Thank god it was empty.

I ran my hands through my hair, scowling at my reflection, "You idiot," I muttered, "This is the first time in a long time that Thai Army have seen you and you had to go and mess it up."

I gripped the sink tighter, my knuckles turning white. The infuriation I was feeling at this stage was indescribable, and the worst part about it was that I couldn't direct the anger at anyone, because it was my fault.

I turned my back to the wall, sliding down the tiles to the floor. Closing my eyes, I took a few calming breaths, keeping my head in my hands.

"Kid? You in there?" A familiar voice knocked on the other side of the door. It was Namjoon.

"Yeah." I sighed, wiping at the pathetic tears that had started to fall. I was so disappointed.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"You want to come into the girls restroom?" I tried to joke and I heard him give a gentle laugh from the other side of the door.

"You know what I mean."

"I know." I stood up, straightening out my skirt and dabbing in the mirror at my red and swollen face. My stylist would kill me.

Slowly the door creaked open, Joon, Tae and Jin staring at me from the other side.

"I'm sorry." I started, "I know I wasn't on my A-game today and I didn't mean to ruin the dance and Tae I'm sorry I made us sound bad with those harmonisations, I just couldn't get it right and I—

I was cut off as Tae wrapped me in a bear hug, "It's alright. It wasn't a big deal."

Uncontrollably I started to sniffle, letting my head rest lightly on his shoulder. He was being too nice about the entire thing. I pulled back, keeping him at arms length, "I really am sorry."

"Hana, things happen." Joon raised an eyebrow, "No one is going to hold it against you."

"You're all too nice to me." Another pitiful tear rolled down my cheek, my emotions on overdrive, "Please be angry or disappointed, it'll make me feel better."

"We're not angry or disappointed." Taehyung looked like he was on the verge of tears, seeing me like this, "I can't pretend to be annoyed at you when I'm not."

"You're annoyed at yourself." Namjoon's eyes had gone soft, "But you would prefer us to be annoyed at you, so you don't have to feel so frustrated."

"Wow. I didn't need a phycological analysis." I joked, but my lip was trembling.

"We're not annoyed at you, Army is not annoyed at you, so why are you so angry with yourself?" He asked, smiling at my attempt at humour.

"I... I don't know." I put my head down. Damn Joon and his massive brain.

"BTS to stage." My ear piece hummed at me. Tae, Joon and Jin obviously hearing it as well.

"Take 5 minutes to relax yourself." Namjoon instructed, "Then come to stage."

Taehyung patted my arm lightly as both him and Joon left the bathroom. Surprisingly Jin stayed.

"You'll be late for the call time." I mumbled, picking at my nails. I wanted him to leave so I could just cry on my own for a bit. But Jin knew me too well, and knew exactly that's what I wanted to do.

"Kid," He stepped forward, "Relax." He nodded at me. I looked at him, my eyes watered completely and tears rolled down my cheeks silently.

"Hana..." He pulled me into a hug. That's when I lost it, I crumpled into him, sobbing silently, "I hate seeing you like this."

He pulled me back, cupping my face lightly and wiping at my tears, "You can do this concert. I know you can. Okay?"

I nodded pitifully.

"We've got to go alright? Be out of here in 2 minutes, I'll try hold off the performance for another little bit."

"No. No." I took a deep breath, straightening my posture and wiping my tears viciously, "We can go now."

Turning quickly we rushed through backstage, sliding to a stop by the wings, where the rest of the guys were waiting. About a minute to spare.

"H, you okay?" Jimin noticed my red face, but thankfully I had stopped crying by this stage.

"Yeah. Yeah." I nodded, smiling at Jin, Tae and Namjoon, "I had a minor breakdown but then realised that was stupid and I am actually a bad bitch."

"Hell yeah you are." Jimin laughed, giving me a quick high-five before the music started and we appeared on stage once more.

But this time, I was ready to give the performance of my life.