Erased消された

catch me -私を捕まえる

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I retorted, spreading my arms as I walked on the edge of a roof as if I were on a balance beam, "Hoping I fall."

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"You've really changed, haven't you (y/n)?"

"It's been awhile." I smiled, thankfully taking one cup of coffee out of his hand, "I've missed you, Icy Hot."

"Can't say I've missed that." Shoto laughed, falling in step with me as we walked down the sidewalk of some busy and bustling street in the middle of the day. Shoto and I had become closer since I returned from the dead, the both of us appreciating one another a bit more than before. He reminded me so much of Dabi and seeing that made him become something I wanted to latch onto and never let go. Maybe that makes me a selfish person. "You wanted to talk?" A small and unseen frown spread across my lips as I felt the weight of so many unspoken words press against my chest. I wanted Shoto to be Dabi. I wanted him to be rock in dark and uncertain times, I wanted him to understand me. But that'd be unfair wouldn't it? If I forced the role on to him without even asking? Burdening him with my secrets, troubling him with my thoughts? He can't fill Dabi's shoes.

"Something wrong with wanting to see my little brother?" I asked, glancing over at the dual hair colored boy with a sly grin.

"No, no, that's not what I meant." He shook his head quickly, waving a hand in front of his face as I brought the cup of coffee to my lips, "It was just so random, I was wondering if everything was okay?" I forced my gaze ahead, not having the heart to look into his eyes as I lied to him.

"I'm fine." I mumbled against the lid of my warm drink, "Just needed a break is all." Shoto hummed at my answer, as I took a giant gulp of the burning liquid, letting the heat scorch my throat as I tried to imagine myself swallowing all the things I never told anyone but Dabi.

"The agency being too much for you?" Shoto asked, swirling the cup of iced coffee in his hand, "I could always help out. What, do you need help with paperwork or something?" I'm grieving Shoto, I'm dealing with the loss of a brother nobody knew I had. A brother I pushed away by becoming who I thought I was destined to be. A brother who seems to become more unhinged the longer we stray apart and now I find myself questioning what it is I should do. What can I do to save him?

"No, it's nothing like that." I said under my breath as we stopped in front of a crosswalk, "I lost someone." I mumbled to myself, almost accidentally loud enough for Shoto to hear as he reached forward and pressed the button on the pole beside us.

"Did they die?" He asked, not really fazed by the dark turn our conversation took. I pursed my lips, tapping the plastic lid sadly.

"They might as well have." The moment I spoke that sentence aloud, had to be the first moment I accepted Dabi's dissappearance. He was gone, he wasn't coming back as he did all the times he saved me before. The differences in our worlds ruined that, the paths we chose did that. "I don't think I'll ever see them again." I looked over at Shoto, a slight glisten of tears gleaming through my (e/c) eyes as he stared back. He seemed to think about what I had said, about the tone in my voice as I spoke, maybe even taking in the hopeless expression I wore as I talked about a brother he never knew. The crosswalk beeped, signaling us to walk, Shoto drawing in a deep breath as we did.

"Sometimes," He began, taking the straw in his coffee and mixing it around his drink casually, "it's better to remember people as they were, than what they've become." I swallowed hard, looking up at the blue sky overhead. You're telling me to move on and treat him as a distant memory, to stop holding out hope for him. I felt myself sigh as I watched a flock of birds fly overhead, flying somewhere in some direction that wasn't here at all. Darting across their own personalized blue canvas with puffs of white, unaware of whatever crisis happened below them, unbothered by those who found themselves stuck on the ground.