Erased消された

game one - ゲーム1

Fear is something I had never been a stranger to. From as far back as I can remember, I've always been scared of something.

At first it was my dad. I was terrified of his training methods, of his fathering methods. Keeping me underneath his thumb, controlling me with an iron fist, one of which left me many bruises and cuts once I became a rebellious teenager.

Then it was the neverending ply of loneliness. Abadoned by a father who never loved me, orphaned by the murder of my mother, a murder I blamed myself for. All I knew was fear.

And when it came to Shota Aizawa, the fear that he brought was like a seeping tar that crept into the cracks and crevices of my very bones. Shota Aizawa, and the things that came with him, tore up my world like a great storm on the vast sea. I was forced to accept feelings my own heart had been a stranger to, to see things in a different light than before. Shota Aizawa opened me up and ripped out everything I had been afraid for the world to see, he held the most ugly parts of me and told me that they were beautiful. He was the first stepping stone to becoming who I am today.

And Azureth? Azureth was the last. Being Azureth taught me I had nothing to be afraid of but the chains that tethered me down. Azureth taught me that I was unstoppable.

So whomever this was, trying to expose my past and intimidate me, did not know fear like me. They don't know what it's like in the sickening dark, how it feels to be swallowed by your own aching pain. I won't let someone like that scare me, not anymore, not after all I've been through.

"You should take this a bit more seriously." Shota mumbled, picking up the red bottle of seasoning to his right, "Whoever this is could expose you for who you once were." I sighed, hopping up on the counter beside him as I kicked my feet childishly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Waving my hand in front of my face, watching him idly sprinkle orange looking flakes into his pan, "Buuuuut, I did some research and whoever this is broadcasted their little drama stunt to all of Japan." I reached over picking at the food Shota was cooking, making him throw me a less than approving glare, "They're trying to get a reaction out of me, narrow down their search, they don't know who I am." I threw the hot food in my mouth, burning my tongue and making me spit it back out in the palm of my hand, "Ah, shitshitshit..." I cursed, sucking in some air, "They're bluffing, Shota." I said with my mouth half open, trying to get the burning to stop. Shota glanced over, his hair knotted back into that low hanging bun, his grey sweater rolled up to his elbows.

"Still." He scowled, his darkened eyes dropping from mine and back to the food he was cooking, "For all you know that's what they want you to think." I pouted, tugging on the white apron he was wearing.

"You worry too much." I hummed, making his movements pause as he sighed softly, "I'll be fine, really."  I reached over, brushing my fingers through some loose strands of raven colored hair that had fallen in front of his face. "What's a hero without a villain?" My thumb gently ran over his cheek, a smile on my lips as I tilted his head up so our gazes would meet. Shota made a 'tsk' sound, yanking away from my touch.

"Dinner is ready." He muttered, quickly taking the pan with him as he walked towards our dining room table. I rose an eyebrow, hopping off the kitchen counter and following him closely.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling on the sleeve of his sweater, "Do you not trust me?" Shota made a grunting sound as he dumped half of the stir fry onto his own plate, annoyed by my question.

"It's nothing like that." He said under his breath, stirring the food with his wooden spoon, "I just wish you were a bit more scared, like me." Scared?