Erased消された

彼の思い出#49

Life is not flowers and rainbows. I thought I had learned that harsh fact when I lost my mom and was casted into some dark ever sinking hole that Shota had fished me out of. But then the man, known as Eraserhead by more than half the nation, reminded me what it was to be happy.

What an unfortunate trick that had seemed to be.

Because life is not flowers and rainbows, it's falling from high places without ever knowing how you got up there in the first place. It's an uphill battle that runs on for miles and miles, till finally you're staring off on the edge of some cliff with nothing better to do than dive off headfirst.

Or maybe I'm just pessismistic at this point.

"E."

"One E."

"Out of all the games to play, why hangman?" I asked, watching him add the letter I had said onto a random blank spot. "I can't remember the last time I played this." I pointed out, hugging the pillow in my arms against my chest. I was in Tomura's shirt, something I had grown accustomed to wearing now that I had began waking up beside the man. It was getting harder to hide our infacuation with one another, and I'm sure some of the others had already caught on, but since we were being forced to lay low for the next week; it was just Tomura and I alone.

"It's not like I have Uno or checkers laying around here." Tomura scoffed, pushing his messy white hair out of his face, "Besides we've got nothing but time to kill now that the others are gone." Dabi had taken off without so much as an invite, just saying something about things that must be done and how he must do them alone. He had been distancing himself from me as time went on, almost like he was becoming more and more unhinged as he started obsessing over revenge on our father. I was worried about him, but anytime I tried to talk to him about it, I was shut down. So, what was I to do? The others all scattered into their own corners of the world and just thought nothing of leaving the two of us alone.

"S." I said, only frowning in defeat as a head was drawn on my little stick man, "How about a movie date? Or we could bake something sweet, even paint-."

"A date?" Tomura repeated, tapping the pen in his hand against his cheek, "That sounds more like a Disney film." I felt a slight blush on my cheeks as Tomura rose an eyebrow at my embarassed state, watching as I buried my face into the pillow with a groan.

"Call it whatever you want," I said, my words being muffled as I spoke into the pillow, "I?"

"One I." Tomura hummed, scribbling down the letter, "Is this what you would consider a date?" His voice softened, making me peer up curiously. Tomura Shigaraki was a bright red, nervously scratching his chin.

"Are you nervous?" I teased, tilting my head to the side as Tomura exhaled loudly, "K?"

"I'm not-." Tomura began, realizing the shade his face had turned and shaking his head, "There's no 'K', I'm adding a body." I pulled on my knees, as I sat criss cross on Tomura's, "Do you...." Tomura mumbled, "Do you want to go on a date? With me?" I felt a heat spread all over my body as the familair sense of doing something like this backwards had happened all over again. A faint smile appeared on my lips as placed a hand over my cheek, feeling my skin warm against my own hands.

"I would." I admitted, not hesitating to answer because I could tell he was putting himself out there, he was stepping outside his own box for me and I didn't want him to doubt himself for even a second. Tomura picked up his head, our eyes meeting, both of our faces red. "Uh, O?" I guessed, breaking the tension.

"Ah, yeah, two O's." He laughed gently, writing in the correct letters in the random spaces. The air felt a bit more awkward after that, Tomura seemed more nervous and a bit more shut within himself which made me afraid I had said the wrong thing. We both never flat out admitted how we felt about one another, we never put a label on anything or even discussed it; other than the fact that we both had to stop seeing each other before things got serious. The way Tomura and I spoke about those topics, I had thought we implied how we felt. At least, I know I did.

"A?"

"That is one arm for you."

"Are you going to give him fingers and toes too?"

"That would be too easy."

"H?" I snapped my fingers, making Tomura smirk hopelessly and draw another arm. "Do you want to?" I bluntly asked, making Tomura raise an eyebrow, "Do you want to go on a date with me?" I clenched the pillow in my hand tightly, calming my nerves as I felt like a stupid school girl confessing to her crush. Tomuras eyes widened, his gaze immediantly shifting away from me and to some isolated corner of the room. Oh.

"Ah-."

"Sorry, that was stupid to ask." I shook my head, the feeling of doubt and insecurity creeping in, "M?" Tomura didn't speak, he gave me a pitiful expression making me feel even more anxious, "No M? How about B? U? N? P?" I started guessing random letters, not really giving a shit about the game anymore, just wanting to run away and hide.

"(Y/n)." Tomura sighed, reaching forward and grabbing my hand, "Calm down."

"I am calm! I'm chilling, just playing a good 'ol game on hangman! Did I lose yet? How about T? Have I said that?" I rambled, pulling away from his grasp with a nervous smile. Tomura frowned, glancing down awkwardly before drawing in a deep breath and speaking.

"I want to leave this place.." Tomura mumbled. I stared at him blankly, confused and lost as to what it was he was even talking about.

"W-What?" I stuttered, making Tomura groan and hit himself in the face.

"I mean, I want to leave this place with you." Tomura explained, moving his hands and cupping my cheeks, "I've been thinking about it for awhile," He began, "I want to be somewhere else, a place where I can wake up beside you every morning without worrying who sees us, where people don't know our names or faces, I want to be normal." Tomura said, "You make me want so much more than the life I was given." He brushed some strands of my (h/c) hair to the side, a tiny smirk on his lips. "You can even choose where we can go! Paris? America? Greece? Anywhere you want to go is fine, as long as it's with you." The question made my mouth dry and my chest ache. Run away from all I've ever known to some far off place with a guy I barely invested any time in? I mean, everyone already thinks I'm dead, the only one who would mourn my loss would be Dabi, and even so I have a feeling he wouldn't be too shaken by it. I'm not really wanted anywhere or by anyone but Tomura.. I'm a blank slate, I've been one since the day Mirio abadoned me.

"Tomura-."

"I know I'm asking a lot, but just think it over, sleep on it-."

"Yes." Maybe I'm making a mistake, maybe I'm staring at this whole thing through rose colored glasses, maybe I'm being selfish. But something about this all felt right. Tomura felt like someone I wanted to believe in, he was someone I wanted to take chances with.

Life is not flowers and rainbows, rose petals and sweet smells, no-.

Life is jumping from high places and hoping you never hit solid ground.

Memories of him #49

I   ?O?E  ?OU