Number Seven

Chapter 11

"Are you okay?" He's crouched down in front of me now, with a hand on the side of my arm.

There's so much going on that the thoughts inside continuously change my answer as I sit there with my mouth half-open. His voice is fading in and out, like waves. I'm breathing but can't feel the air coming into my lungs. He motions me to get on my feet and drags me out of the small lobby area by my wrist after grabbing my flashlight. He pushes the door open to the stairwell bringing me back to our floor.

I stumble down the hall little by little, catching a glimpse of Dannielle still in the training room with Scarlett. I catch him scanning his card as our dorm slides open. The door closes behind us as we step inside. Now it's just him and me.

"What were you doing out there?" is the first thing to come out of his mouth.

"Nothing," I answer. My mind is running in endless circles. My heart is beating so hard it might just break out through my rib cage and on the floor. I have to lean against the wall for support. The air between us grows tense.

"Tell me."

"No," I gasp out. I drape my arm over my stomach, clinging onto the material of my shirt, afraid it might come up at any moment. That it will rip right off of my chest. My brain feels like it's fighting a war while I'm trying to keep up the conversation. My breaths are uneven. I can't control them. Not a single one.

"Why were you out there?" He presses the question again, turning around so he can't see me. He doesn't even notice. Doesn't care. Why should he? He doesn't even know me.

I turn to face the wall, bringing my other arm up so I can rest my forehead on something soft. My fingers twitch and my legs shake. As my chest rises and falls, I close my eyes. That idiot won't get out of my head. How his skin touched mine. How violated I felt. How I feel right now. Hurricanes are whirling in my chest as the nerves bounce off every slashing current. I feel like I'm going to throw up and pass out all at the same time.

"I went looking for you. Throughout the entire building—every floor—and you're not going to tell me what you were doing?" I don't answer. I'm not even sure if I'm listening at this point. He shouts my name and when I expect to hear another whiplash of his words, he's silent.

Or maybe I can't hear anything anymore because of the loud thud, booming in my chest, echoing in my ears. My body is heating up. I feel like I'm suffocating in thin air. I can't get that idiot out of my head. My confidence is descending, bit by bit. I'm rasping for air. I can't focus on one thing. My mind is leaping from instance to instance, making me repeat the never-ending cycle of circles.

"Forty-nine?" I barely hear him. I don't even have the strength to answer back. To pretend like everything is okay. I think he called my name again. I'm not sure. I don't care. I just want the memories to go away. I don't want to see his face flashing back and forth in my mind with the pain of every unforgotten feeling reminding my body of his presence.

Tears are stuck in the rim of my eyes. My eyes open again. "Hey," he says softly, touching my shoulder. I flinch at the contact, keeping myself buried in the wall where no one can hurt me. I can feel the trepidation of uneasiness cloud behind me from the dead silence. It doesn't take long for an obvious warmth to surprise me from behind as his arms engulf my stomach, bury my one arm under his hold. "It's okay," he reassures, whispering into my ear.

My body shakes as I breathe in and close my eyes, letting the welled-up tear slide down my cheek. I feel his warmth sink into my back, wondering if he notices my thundering heartbeat. Another shaky breath from my lips makes him squeeze me even harder. I can't remember the last time I was shown compassion like this.

The last time I felt loved and accepted. I want the comfort of his warmth to last forever but unfortunately nothing lasts for as long as you want it to. His arms unravel my body and I'm alone again. Isolated from the world for the split second it takes him to turn me by the hips and crash into my chest, with his arms tucked around me again. I'm taken aback by the amount of force I just experienced as a gasp of relief unexpectedly abandons my mouth. "You know there's no way in hell you'll make it out of this place in one piece." What I assume is a sign of twisted betrayal is actually a cautious reminder for my protection.

I don't realize what's going on until this moment. How his face is pressed into the crook of my neck and his chest is so close to mine. His arms are like protective walls, keeping me safe from anything that might hurt me. My arms are weak, relying on his shoulders to keep them held up. I can finally breathe normally again. "Next time," he says still by my side, "tell me where you're going."