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Chapter Fourteen

"Elle, please open the door," she heard Julian's impatient voice.

"Oh my god," she breathed as she got to her feet, sure she looked like a complete mess.

She contemplated even opening the door. Did he even deserve it?

"I know you're in there, Elle. Please. I need to explain," she heard him say as she tip-toed to her bathroom, quickly checking her appearance, wiping the smeared makeup from below her eyes before she came back out.

"I just want to explain," she heard him sigh as she quietly moved toward the front door.

She had no idea what he could possibly explain that would make her see him in a different light, to unbreak her heart. But she knew the second he showed up at her door she wouldn't be able to deny him. She knew she couldn't shut him out, no matter how badly he hurt her.

Elle slowly unlocked the door and opened it just slightly to look up at him through her red, blotchy eyes.

"Oh, Elle," he sighed, looking more than a little somber.

"What do you want, Julian?" She asked as her lip quivered with emotion. She was sure she couldn't handle this.

"Please, Elle. Just let me explain. Let me explain what I've been feeling," he pleaded.

"Why should I?" She snapped at him.

"Because I'm stupid. And you deserve to know just how stupid I've been," he said sadly.

Elle scoffed, shaking her head. Yeah, she agreed with him. He was really fucking stupid.

"Please, Elle," he said again.

She stared at him for a few moments. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew if she looked into those mesmerizing green eyes, she was going to give in. And she could have kicked herself for opening the door wider for him, if she didn't already know that deep down, once again, she would never deny him.

Julian walked in without a word and Elle watched him carefully, his back to her. She watched as his hands came up and slowly wiped down his face as he let out a deep sigh. And she couldn't take it anymore. She had to look away from him because it was too painful to see him so distressed.

She silently closed the door and turned on the lamp in the living room to illuminate the room around them. Her eyes fixated on the fabric of the couch to avoid looking at him, memories flooding her mind of the night they spent on that couch – the couch where the life-ruining pictures were taken. It only made everything worse. It only made his presence standing in front of her that much more unbearable, when all she could think about was how badly she missed his hands on her, how badly she missed him. She was such an idiot. After everything, you'd think she would learn.

Julian slowly turned around and her eyes immediately found his.

"Why—" She choked out, trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"Elle," Julian whispered, his face tightening up in a look of anguish.

"Please, Julian. Please stop saying my name and tell me why you... you—god, you're just as bad as Liam," she growled, breaking her eyes away from him again.

"I'm just as bad as him? Elle, be real," Julian said incredulously, his eyes widening to a maddening degree.

"Be real!? Why are you here, Julian? Why did you even come here?" She shot at him.

"I want to explain, Elle. I-I..." He stammered, seemingly frustrated with her, with everything.

"Then explain. Explain away your guilt," she demanded with a hint of malice in her tone.