Bleeding Love

Why us?

The next day came and Tommy and Scarlett were going to the office like normal. He had Grace's things cleaned from the office, so Scarlett could have it back. They were in the car on the way there.
"Is her name still on the door?" She asked.
He smirked and she looked at him.
"Oh God, you didn't put Angel face on there did you?"
"I had them put Scarlett Solomons on there."
She rolled her eyes.
"Very funny, Tom."
"Do you want to talk about it?" She joked.
"No, I don't want to talk about "the best night of Alfie's life"."
He made a face at her as they pulled up. Scarlett leaned over closer to his face and put her hand on his leg.
"That's fine. It was mostly Tatiana and me anyway." She said and then kissed him.
Scarlett got out of the car as Tommy sat there shocked for a second. Once he realized what she said he jumped out of the car and caught up to her.
"Now that I would like to talk about." He said as he put his arms around her.
"Mmm I bet you would." She said as she looked up at him.
They kissed and were about to walk in. The whole family was already in there and Arthur and Linda were making an announcement before Tommy and Scarlett got there.
"We have an announcement to make." Arthur said excitedly.
"Tommy and Scarlett will be here any minute, Arthur. Calm down." Polly said.
"Well it's actually best if they don't know. They just lost their baby, so I know this would be hard to hear." Linda said.
Everyone gave them a weird look. Arthur was smiling from ear to ear. He lifted up his arms and yelled.
"I'm gonna be a dad!"
"I'm pregnant!" Linda said.
"I'm gonna be a fucking dad!" Arthur yelled.
Everyone looked at them, but didn't say a word. Scarlett and Tommy were standing right inside the door. They had just walked in and heard it.
"What? Is this not good news?" Arthur asked.
Polly put her hand to her face and turned around. Arthur and Linda turned to the door to see the couple standing there.
"Tom....you weren't supposed to hear that." Arthur said quietly.
Scarlett shook her head and smiled.
"That's great news, Arthur!"
She walked over and hugged Linda.
"Congratulations. I'm so happy for you." She smiled.
Everyone was watching her and then watching Tommy. She hugged Arthur.
"You're going to be such a great dad, Arthur."
She stepped back and held both of their arms and smiled.
"Another Shelby. Congratulations you two!"
Tommy walked up and shook his brother's hand.
"Congrats brother."
"Thank you, Tom." Arthur nodded.
Tommy looked at Linda.
"Good luck with two kids running around." Tommy said as he looked at Arthur.
Everyone gave a small laugh.
"Aunt Pol, do your magic. Tell us if it's a boy or girl!" Arthur said.
Polly hesitated as she looked at Tommy and Scarlett, but walked over and touched Linda.
"It's a boy." She said.
Arthur picked Linda up and spun her around.
"I'll have a fucking son!" He said.
"Just what we need. Another Arthur running around." John joked.
Everyone stood and talked for a while. Tommy and Scarlett stayed out with everyone and kept a smile on their faces even though it was hard. Eventually everyone went to their offices to work. Scarlett stood in front of her office door and ran her fingers over the gold letters. It said Scarlett Shelby. Tommy walked up behind her.
"Well?" He asked.
"You spelled Solomons wrong."
He bent down and whispered in her ear.
"So are you going to tell me every little detail about you and the duchess now or later?"
"Well played, Shelby." She said.
He kissed her cheek and then they went into their offices to do work. Scarlett shut her office door and leaned against it. She slowly slid to the floor as she closed her eyes. Scarlett rested her head on the door and took a few deep breaths.
"You're okay, Scarlett. You're fine. Everything is fine."
Eventually she sat down at her desk and started her paperwork. There was a knock on the door and Polly came in.
"Are you okay?" Polly asked as she sat down.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be, Pol?" Scarlett said, never looking up from her writing.
Polly smoked her cigarette as she stared at Scarlett.
"Thomas said the same thing."
Scarlett quit writing and looked up.
"Scarlett, you have to talk about it at some point. Thomas too."
"I know, Polly." Scarlett said as she rested her elbows on the table and put her hands on her head.
"You and him are the exact same. If you don't want to talk to me, talk to him. He needs it too."
"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, Pol...it's just..."
Polly reached over the desk and grabbed Scarlett's hand.
"I know. I was the same way with my Anna. You take all the time you need. I'm here any time."
"Thank you, Polly. It means a lot."
Polly stood up and walked out. Scarlett went to write again, but her pen wouldn't work. She threw it against the wall and put her head in her hands. The day went on and the sun was going down. Tommy walked into Scarlett's office.
"Are you ready to go home?" He asked.
She cleared her throat.
"I want to stay and reorganize everything since it's my first day back in here."
"Alright. I'll wait on you."
"No, you don't have to. I'll be alright. Go home and have dinner with Bella. Tell her I'll be home soon."
"I don't want you here alone." He said.
"Tommy."
"Someone will be waiting in the car to take you home." He said, caving in.
He kissed her.
"Hurry home."
She smiled and he left. Scarlett stayed for a while. She either sat or paced. She was walking around her office with her hands in her hair.
"Fuck." She yelled.
She started to breathe hard as she shook her head.
"I can't....I can't do this."
"I can't fucking do this." She yelled.
Scarlett stormed out of her office and frantically searched for a bottle of whiskey.
"Where the fuck is it?"
She opened a filing drawer and found a bottle. She grabbed it and noticed a bottle of opium. Scarlett looked around the room and then hesitantly grabbed the bottle. She closed the drawer and then went back to her office. Scarlett sat down at her desk and set the bottle down on her desk. Time went on as she stared at it. Scarlett's hand shook as she picked it up. She was about to open it until she looked over at the picture of Tommy and Bella. Scarlett shook her head and then threw the opium at the wall.
"What the fuck am I doing?" She whispered.
Scarlett got in the car where Johnny Dogs was waiting. She got home and kissed Bella on the cheek because she was already asleep.
"Hey." Tommy said as she walked in.
"I'm sorry it took longer than I thought."
"You're forgiven....this time." He joked.
She didn't laugh as she started to undress.
"It was a joke, babe."
She was in her skirt and bra.
"I know." She said as she tried to unzip her skirt.
Everything was catching up to her and the frustration was taking over. She kept trying to unzip her skirt, but couldn't.
"Fucking hell." She mumbled.
"Scarlett."
"I can't...I can't fucking unzip my skirt."
He got out of bed and easily unzipped it for her. She took it off and walked across the room in her bra and underwear. Scarlett went to unhook her bra, but she felt Tommy's hands. He did it for her and then handed her one of his shirts. She put it on and then took a few steps away from him as she put her hands on her head.
"What's wrong, Scar?"
"I thought about using opium tonight." She said without turning around.
"What?"
"I didn't do it. I couldn't do it....I didn't want to. I looked at the picture of you and Bella and that's all it took."
"But God for that one second where I thought I was going to do it.....I thought that feeling nothing would be better than feeling all of this pain." She said as she turned to him.
          "Because the truth is...I'm drowning in it, Tommy." She said as her eyes filled with tears.
She shook her head.
          "I can't turn it off. I...I can't make it go away."
She put her hands on her head and walked by him. He looked at her. She closed her eyes as tears fell down her face.
          "I'm just tired." She said as her voice broke.
She turned away because she didn't want him to see her cry.
          "Why us? Why is it always happening to us?" She asked.
He didn't know what to say.
          "I would never wish this on Linda and Arthur. I'm genuinely happy for them, but why did this happen to us? Why did we lose our baby?" She said and then turned to face him.
          "Why does she get to be pregnant all nine months? Why do they get to take their baby home after labor? Why do they get to hold their baby?"
Tommy had his hand over his mouth as she broke down.
          "Why do we not get the first, second, tenth, and sixteenth birthdays? We don't get the first day of school or the first Christmas. We didn't even get to hold her and tell her that we loved her. Nothing. We get nothing." She said as she became hysterical.
She had both of her hands on her forehead.
          "Why...why did my mother get to have children? She didn't deserve them. Everything she did. Why did she....maybe I'm not a good.....maybe I don't deserve..." She mumbled as she cried.
          "Scarlett." Tommy said as his voice broke.
He looked away from her.
          "Why did we not get to bring our baby home? We came home with nothing....we came home with nothing, but a part of us missing." She said.
Tommy watched every single thing that has ever happened to her, hit her all at once. Scarlett put her hand to her stomach and held onto the end of the bed with the other. She sank to the floor and leaned her head against the bed as the tears streamed endlessly down her face. Tommy ran his fingers over his eyes quickly and then sat in the floor beside her.
He held her as she leaned against his chest. He rested his head on hers and eventually they fell asleep in the floor. Tommy was amazed that she kept it together for so long and she felt the same about him. People cry, not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for so long.