A Letter To My Lost Lover // DNF

1

"How have you've been recently?" I look up from my hands. My therapist is patient with me, she just gives me a warm smile.
"I've been okay, I've just been missing him more and more everyday."
"Him?"
"Clay," I replied.

"Right, why do you miss him?"
"I miss the fun we had, all the fun loving times."
"I see, what's your favorite memory with Clay?" She started to write something in her notebook.
"Probably the first time we went on our first date." I let out a small laugh while looking back down at my hands.
"Can you describe the atmosphere to the best of your memory?"
"Well, it was a nice restaurant, somewhat dimly lit. The whole restaurant's theme seemed to be red because everything was red like the booths, the carpet, and some of the paintings."
"How were you both feeling?"
"Clay was clearly nervous, I was a little bit nervous but I didn't want to show it because I'll get embarrassed."
"How did you both meet?"

"I ran into him at a coffee shop, I accidentally grabbed his drink and I felt bad because he grabbed mine thinking it was his. He told me that he usually comes to that coffee shop to do some work, something like coding or something like that. I told him I didn't know how to code and he suggested that he could teach me and I agreed. The next time we met he told me all about himself." I feel a lump in my throat start to grow.

"After knowing each other for months he asked me to dinner and at that time I started to develop feelings for him, I thought he just wanted to see me because we both had busy schedules and they didn't fit each other. I saw him dressed up for the first time and it was very nice to see him all dressed up because before that I've only seen him in sweatpants and hoodies. I started to get even more nervous about our date even if you can call it that. He told me a lot of personal stuff and I told him I like him and he said that he liked me too and we started to figure stuff out in our relationship." I bite my lip and the tears start to come to my eyes. "Sorry,"

"No need to apologize, there's a part of you that is reserved for him."
"Yeah, I spent four years with him."
"Four years?"
"Yeah, four straight years."
"Do you ever regret those four years?" I look up at her and she crosses one leg over the other. I start to fidget with my hands as she waits for an answer. I shake my head and she writes something down.

"Well, I have an assignment for you, I want you to write a letter to Clay as if you were going to send it to him, but you should just keep it for yourself to get your feelings out."
"Writing a letter, do I have to share it with you?"
"If you want too, this is mostly for you to fill that void in your heart. Just you getting some closure."
"What do I do with it once I'm done with it?"
"Burn it, throw it away, put it into a safe place, whatever you want."

I nod and thank her for listening to all of my mess. I drive home, it was quiet and started to turn dark. Once I got home I pulled out a piece of lined paper and a pen. I sit at my desk thinking about how to start the letter. Beginnings aren't always the prettiest, and maybe that's how I should start it. Dear Clay, I love and miss you, Please come back. Sincerely George. Tacky, I hate it.

I take a deep breath and start to write.

Dear Clay,
If you were right here in front of me, I would ask how your day was and how you've been since I last saw you. You would tell me that it was good and explain how Patches being Patches doing the most stupid thing. I would laugh and you would crack jokes, I miss those days. I always do. I miss you.

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Hey everyone! First chapter is out!!! Anyways I hope that you have an amazing day and make sure you take care of yourself!