shades of yellow » han seojun ff

27. sepia

FLASHBACK

SUHO WAS THE last to arrive at Seyeon's funeral. By that time, the food had been packed away, most of the flowers adorning Seyeon's coffin disposed so they could transport it to the cremation grounds at dawn. Yeonwoo's parents had left hours earlier, her mother having fainted from grief, stress, and exhaustion.

Yeonwoo was staring at a white rose in her hands when he came up from behind her, as silent as a shadow. At the sound of his knees harshly dropping onto the ground, she whirled around to find the boy crying silent tears of anguish.

She watched him in silence as he performed the bows. As soon as he finished bowing to Seyeon, he started bowing to Yeonwoo.

Wide-eyed, she said, "Get up, Suho. What are you thinking? Get up, stop this." She pulled at his elbows, desperately trying to stop him. But he was strong, and stood his ground. 

With his forehead pressed to the ground, he sobbed, "I'm sorry, Yeonwoo. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?" She cried, finally gathering enough strength to lift his torso from the ground. 

She slapped him on the shoulder. "What are you saying? Speak clearly, I don't understand."

"I missed his calls. I ignored him when he needed me, I killed Seyeon!" He gasped, "I killed my best friend. I killed your brother."

Seojun's words from earlier rang in her head like a gong. Suho caused Seyeon's death. Suho caused Seyeon's death. As much as the evidence stared her in the face, how the said perpetrator himself confessed, she knew in her heart that something was wrong.

"You're lying. Suho, I know that's not the whole story. You better tell me the truth before I believe it. I don't want to lose you as a friend, so please." 

But Suho was relentless. He continued blaming himself.

"Suho, stop lying. You would never do such a thing on purpose, stop blaming yourself." She sobbed, resting her head on his knees. "Anybody but you is to blame, anybody but you."

After endless cajoling, begging, pleading for Suho to tell her the whole story from beginning to end, he finally did. He told her about the conversation he overheard between his father's director and the reporter, everything. 

And when she finally pieced together all the information, she hugged him tightly. There were no more tears left to cry. It was just two heartbroken people holding onto each other for comfort during their shared sorrow.

—

Two months later, Seojun received an unexpected text. He had not seen Yeonwoo ever since the funeral, ever since he had thrown the unforgivable words at her, pinned her and Suho as the ones who led Seyeon to his demise.

yeonwoo

I'm leaving. Flight leaves in three hours.

He raced to the airport and caught her just in time. She and her parents were sitting on the benches. Even from a distance he noted the gauntness of their cheeks, the dark circles under their eyes, and how incomplete they seemed.

"You're here." She walked towards him slowly yet knowingly, as if she had known he would definitely see her off.

"Of course I'm here. Why wouldn't I be? Why are you leaving?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. 

Of course she would leave. Her brother had just committed suicide for goodness sake.

"Every where I turn, I see him. I don't think I can survive here for any longer." Where Seyeon lived then died, were the words that died upon her lips.  

"I'll miss you." Seojun said quietly. Through the emptiness of her eyes, he  could tell she would never be able to bring herself to live in Seoul ever again.

Just then, the announcement that passengers on the flight to London, United Kingdom should check-in by ten minutes. 

Seojun opened his arms as if to hug her, but he found that he could not. The intimacy they had acquired over the past year had melted like snow in the summer. Not even their shared grief over Seyeon's tragic death was enough for them to even bridge the gap between them and move in for a simple hug.

She looked so tiny, walking timidly to the boarding gate. And it was there where Seojun buried his heart, in the bustling airport next to the cool metal seats, because he knew deep down he would never see Jeong Yeonwoo ever again.

But then again. She was a girl full of surprises.