𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐊 - ★彡[ᴢʜᴏɴɢʟɪ]彡★

16 - 𝕲𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖉

Pleasure is commonly defined as a happy satisfaction or enjoyment in something. I couldn't define what I had felt in the moment, whether it was pleasure was not known to me.

    I had never participated in activities like that.

    Childe was good at creating the sensation of pleasure, though. At least to the extent that I could observe. Even if I wasn't in love with him, I still found myself caring deeply for the ginger. Thankfully Zhongli didn't come home that morning though for he obviously would have seen the mess of the sheets and me lying next to Childe.

    My legs were sore and I felt tremors all over once I awoke. Childe was not lying beside me anymore.

    The following morning we both made a mutual agreement not to discuss what had happened that night. I felt a little different than before. Almost as if I had grown up more. It was a strange melodic feeling, and a brand new wonderful sensation.  Blood dripped down my legs in the morning, and I asked Childe what it meant. He told me that it wasn't too unusual.

    I felt guilty.

    Maybe I should've felt those emotions first with Zhongli instead, after all Childe warned me that he would be able to tell that I had sex previously. In my state of desperation to enjoy a human experience before I was shrouded in darkness, I guess I just clung to Childe like a leech.

    And now I've finally sucked him dry.

    After all, we both knew that we weren't in love and probably would never be in this lifetime. But I would like to hope that he meets someone better in the future so he can feel the sensation of love.

    "Now go confess to Zhongli," he smirked, "I've had my fun with you on my end, so go have yours."

I blinked at him. "What if he sees the blood? He'll know for sure."

Childe rolled his eyes and pushed me towards the door. "Don't worry about it, girlie. If he asks, just dodge the question. Now go out and bring that man home."

    I blushed and placed a hand on his soft lips to stop him from saying any more. "Alright idiot, I'm leaving. Thank you for everything."

"Sure," he shrugged, "I take it you probably won't come back now, right?"

    "Once I resume my duties as a yaksha, I will not be able to indulge in such pleasures," I admitted with a tinge of regret, "but if I ever am freed from my responsibilities, I'll go straight to you."

"I'll probably be dead by then," Childe tapped his chin with his finger, "right?"

The realization was a shock for me. I don't know how I could've forgotten.

Childe was just a mortal.

Him dying of old age was a hard thing to imagine, and whenever I tried to it filled me with shock and sadness. It felt like we had created a bond that couldn't be broken, but it could be snapped so quickly by the scissors of fate.

"Yeah," I sighed, "so this is our final goodbye, then?"

"You could sneak out and come to visit me if you-"

I tackled him with a hug, squeezing him tightly like he had done for me. I would miss him.

His tenacity.

His snarkiness.

His comebacks.

And most of all, his kindness.

I grasped onto his jacket trying to hold onto his life so he wouldn't die like every other mortal.

Childe didn't embrace me back.   

When I noticed this I backed away quickly and apologized.

"I want to hug you, really," his voice was quiet, "but then that will just make me never want to let you go."

   

"Hey, (F/N), if we meet again in another life, would you marry me?"

𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝  𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝  𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫.

The words I uttered were all a lie, but we both wanted to believe in them anyways.

"𝐘𝐞𝐬, 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈𝐕 𝐄𝐍𝐃