𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛.✔️

#21

Essence

"Do you have a death wish? Why would you bring her there?" Killian exclaimed, his voice echoing through the apartment as we stood in silence. Was this the first time I saw seeing? Killian like this? I had already known he was in the Mafia, I had tried my best to prepare myself for everything that could happen but
nothing could prepare me for this.

An angry Killian.

He continued to yell, the tension was palpable as we sat down on the couch, neither of us daring to speak. Killian's anger simmered beneath the surface on our way back until it erupted the moment we stepped through the door, I wasn't sure what I expected but it was anything but this.

Sitting beside each other, a part of me knew better than to argue back, but the other half refused to revert to my old self, the one who let everyone walk over her, fuelled by his anger.

"Calm down," I retorted, standing up defiantly. Killian's emotionless response left me questioning his sincerity. He watched the boys sitting down with a deadly expression ignoring my words."It wasn't their fault," I defended, gesturing towards the boy on the couch. "It was either stay here alone or go with them, and you know you'd be just as mad if I stayed here by myself."

Silence followed, Killian's typical response when faced with important matters. This man. Was he so prideful that he couldn't admit he was wrong? I muttered a "whatever" and retreated to the room where I was staying shutting out the voices behind me, including Killian's continuous rant.

As I lay on the bed, exhausted and overwhelmed, I couldn't shake off the events of the day. To everyone around me, guns seemed like just another thing you'd carry around daily. From my Ex-boyfriend to all of the guys a few rooms over they'd normalized it to me.

Tomorrow was just another school day I possibly had to miss. I had gone from wanting to attend school so badly to it being just another dream tarnished at the back of my head, but not sparing another thought
on it; refusing to feel more disappointment attempt to get comfortable. All I wanted to do
now was sleep.

A nap doesn't hurt...

"Mom," I sit up gasping for air. Pure darkness fills my eyes for a few seconds before they adjust and make out the furniture in the room. Sweating profusely I start to put my hair up into a bun to reveal some warmth.

With deep breaths, I close my eyes struggling to compose myself. It takes all of three minutes to bring my heartbeat to its regular state and my mind to a stop.

My mouth fills with dryness as my tongue attempts to wet my lips. "I need water," I groan standing up and heading out of the room like a slug. My head pounds for a few seconds but I ignore it holding on to anything next to me. The moment I stepped into the dark hallway I realized how late it was. Shit, everyone was probably asleep.

Walking quietly trying to not make any sound I head into the kitchen. My attempt at stealth failed as I collided with Killian's chest in the darkness not two seconds later. "Umph," I groan at the deeper pain sent throughout my skull. I take a step back scrunching my face that hit his chest.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his deep voice breaking the silence. I shrugged off his concern with a nod. "Why are you up?" He says looking me up and down with slight confusion. It was then I noticed that I still had the same clothes on from the day. While on the other hand, Killian had changed, he was in grey joggers and a black hoodie. He was dressed so casually and comfortably, it was such a rare occasion that I had to do a double take. The moment I reach his face an uneven smirk spreads along his lips. I revert my eyes down rubbing the back of my neck.

"Couldn't sleep," I mumble quietly. "Why are you up?"

"Water," he says now holding up a glass of water I didn't notice he had. With his free hand, he flicks on the light switch. As they flash on in a second, I squint momentarily blinded. "Why couldn't you sleep?" I say ignoring the black dots in my vision.