Just Deserts (One-Shot)

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Chapter warnings: Death mentions, swearing

***

A slash of the scythe was all it took to separate the soul from its body; Lotus reached forward to scoop the dimming construct into his holed palm, cringing at the anguish emanating from within. "Sucked to be you; better luck next time, if there is one," the reaper mumbled, concentrating his magic and watching as the remnants of life faded into the afterlife much like the hundreds of others he had collected that day. Shifting the weapon underneath his arm and pulling out his list, he ticked off one of the names and glanced at the many remainders under it before shoving the paper back into his pocket. He readied his magic for a teleport as he grumbled, "How many of you assholes have to die in one day?"

Arriving on top of a building overlooking the location, he parked himself on the ledge and let his mind wander while he waited for the unlucky bastard to show up.

Every day was the same song and dance; finding monsters and humans in varying states of decay or standing vigil to the gorefest from a position of relative safety, then separating the essence from their sorry carcass without giving in to the urge to hurl. He hated his job, but he didn't have many alternatives that paid well without some form of higher education to fall back on; there was also the fact that he was literally born to reap souls, not to mention the world would be up shit's creek if wayward souls were left to descend into madness without the release of death.

If nothing else, he could take solace in each day that one particular name wasn't on his list.

The buzzing of his phone brought him out of his woolgathering; retrieving it from his pocket, he unlocked the device and read the message.

R: you busy?

"You've got some kind of timing...," Lotus huffed despite the slight smile working its way onto his face as he tapped away at his screen.

L: In between jobs; you?

Seconds after hitting send, a new message followed it.

R: lunch break

At least Rurik wasn't shirking work to goof around on his phone.

L: So what's up?

R: bored

R: wanted something to do

Lotus stared down at his phone for a solid five seconds; was he serious?

L: You literally have a phone with internet in your hands.

L: Watch a video or read a book.

R: nothing interesting

R: wanted something fun to look at

R: like some dunes from you 😉

"Really?" Lotus sighed, knowing what the monster was asking for despite their typo; he loved his boyfriend, but he could never understand their constant preoccupation with sex. As he began to tap out his response chastising their dirty mind, an idea popped into his skull and he backspaced with a growing smirk.

L: Alright, hold on.

R: Really?

L: Yup

Pasting the first photo into the text box, Lotus was grinning like a maniac as he hit send.

L: Here you go.

L: What about this one? It has camels

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L: What about this one? It has camels.

L: What about this one? It has camels

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R: what the hell is this?

L: You said you wanted dunes from me.

L: I gave you what you asked for 😜

R: haha very funny

R: got my hopes up for nothing

L: That's what you get for trying to do dirty shit at work.

R: but now I'm horny

L: That sounds like a you problem.

"Get away from me!" A scream rang out from below; a man was grabbing for a woman's purse with a knife in their other hand.

"Great, another mugging about to go wrong," Lotus groused, glancing over at his phone as he let the scene play out in the background; hopefully, it would be over by the time he finished.

L: Job's here, have to go.

Another scream, this time from the guy. "That was- oh," the skeleton blinked, then snorted, "well damn, there's a pleasant twist." The guy, who apparently had a feminine-sounding name if the list was still accurate, had somehow gotten the knife turned on himself as the woman fled the scene; for once, someone was getting what was coming to them. Summoning his scythe, Lotus's phone buzzed again; the mugger was still in their death throes, rolling around on the ground crying pathetically for help, so he could spare a couple of seconds to check Rurik's response.

R: see you at home

Another response popped up right after.

R: maybe all of you? 😘

Lotus shook his skull in exasperated amusement, typing out a quick response before pocketing the phone and dropping down to collect his now-still target.

L: We'll see.

***

Word Count: 778

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