Sweet as honey • James Maguire

1,4• Shes From the Ukraine, Erin, not Ethiopia

We were in church as Father Conway was speaking. "Which ones ours?" Orla asked me and Erin. "She didn't send a photo" Erin told the taller lass. "Why didn't she send one?" I asked her. "I don't know, Caoimhe! Why don't you ask David?"she told me, causing me to sigh. She was talking to me now, but she still hasn't let it go. "Her family probably don't even own a camera" Erin told Orla, leaving me out of it. "She'll find Derry a bit overwhelming at first, just because of how advanced everything is here. All the cracker stuff we have." Erin said, quite rudely. "She's from the Ukraine, Erin, not Ethiopia." I told the blonde girl, causing her to glare at me. "They have some pretty cracker stuff where they come from too, Erin" Orla told her, causing Erin to question what they could possibly have over there. "Disease? Poverty?" Erin spat out, disrespectfully. "No. You can get this wee women made of wood right? You pull her apart, and inside her is and even wee-er wooden woman, and you pull the wee-er woman apart-" Orla exclaimed in joy. "Are you Talking about Russian dolls?" Erin asked the girl.

Just then I was distracted by Aunt Sarah, who threw a fiver into the offering pot, but then tried to take some coins out. "What are you doing?" Gerry asked her. "Taking my change." Sarah replied simply, as if there was nothing wrong with it. "Sarah, you don't get change." Gerry whispered to her again, concerned. "Aye, dead on, Gerry. I'm gonna give them a whole fiver? That's definitely happening" Sarah asked the man, who was now looking around frantically to see if anyone was watching. "I recon we've got that one" I told Orla, pointing at a random Ukrainian. "No, that one" Orla said,
Pointing at a different one. We went on like that for a little bit, pointing out different Ukrainians until Father Conway invited Sister Michael to speak.

"Lovely job so far, Seamus, but, you know, keep it moving, Rawhides on in 15 minutes" she started by saying to the priest. "Now...One might well question the wisdom of sending you here, of all places. Out of the frying pan into the, well, maybe not the fire, but certainly different type of frying pan. Or some sort of wok at the very least" Sister Michael started saying to the children, not realising she was waffling on. "But please, don't worry yourselves too much about the whole civil war, sectarian conflict carry on. There's really only one thing you need to know. We're the goodies. Welcome to Derry" she said, finishing up and in turn allowing us to find our Ukrainian.

As we were walking home, Erin was hogging the Ukrainian, causing Orla to be a bit upset. Erin kept on droning on about how descriptive her letters were and that she was so good at writing, before the Ukrainian broke the news to her that, she didn't know what Derry looked like because of her letters, but instead because of the news coverage. "What do you mean you've seen on news?" Erin asked the girl, in denial. "You don't have news in the Ukraine. You don't have televisions" Erin tried to tell the girl about her own country. "Yes, we do." The girl said simply. "No you don't." Erin argued again, causing me to roll my eyes at her audacity. "Yes we do." The Ukrainian said again. "Really?" Erin said, disbelieving. "Of course." The Dark haired girl said simply, fed up with the conversation. "Erin, stop hogging the Russian." Mary told her daughter. "Yeah come on Erin, give Orla a go." Gerry than said, as if she were a game. "She's Ukrainian, actually" Erin said matter of factly, as if she hadn't been demeaning to her at all before.

"Yeah go on Love. Say something to Katya." Sarah encouraged her daughter. "Your name sounds a but like 'cat'" Orla told the poor girl. "Jesus Christ" I mumbled, putting my head in my hand. "God, aye, so it does." Sarah realised. Granda then went on to talk about his friend who moved to Russia years ago, refusing to realise why she wouldn't know Jack McGinley, even though Russia is a huge country and that she's not even from there.

We eventually made it home, where I came to realise that Katya would be having my room, while I slept in Erins with her. God, kill me now. At the moment we were all sat in Erins room, me sitting with one leg dangling out the window, with the rest of my body perched on the windowsill. "So, Katya, I've done an itinerary for your stay." Erin said, making me slam my head against the window in front of me. "You should have received a copy in my last letter." Making me roll my eyes at the boringness I imagine Erins letters to be. I looked out the window, to see Michelle, Clare and James stroll round the corner of our road, causing me to wave at them. "I don't read your letters, Erin" Katya told the blonde girl, making me laugh. I know it's bad, she's my cousin and all, but sometimes she can be so full of herself, it's frustrating. "I'm sorry? I don't follow." Erin told the Ukrainian, confused. "Your letters, they bore." Katya said, causing me to whisper a quiet "knew it."
"They're 'boring'" Erin told the girl in a failed sort of come back. "Exactly" Katya responded. "That's not what I-" Erin started before being interrupted. "I can't smoke here, yes?" Katya asked. "No, no you can't. Mammys like a bloodhound." Erin said, while snatching the cigarette out of the poor girls mouth.