Sweet as honey • James Maguire

2,1•Shes Fucking Crazy and Hes just, Strange

I was finishing packing my bag in the living room. Listening to Orla shouting down to us about Erin and her bath time activities. I was wearing my friends across the barricades shirt, tucked into my black jeans, with a denim jacket on top. Mary stormed over to me with my waterproof trousers, making me put them in my bag. "Thanks Mary!" I said, thankful for her reminding me.

Erin and Orla came down the stairs, picking their bags in the kitchen as I was just finishing up packing mine. I moved it over to the door so I wouldn't forget it before sitting on the chair next to where Erin was packing her things. "And for the love of god don't you forget your waterproof trousers, nearly bloody bankrupt us buying yours and Caoimhes" Mary told her daughter, shoving the lilac waterproof trousers into Erins arms. "Do the Protestants have to bring waterproof trousers? Or is it the catholic's that have to do all the dirty work?" Mary asked us, not a fan of the whole idea. "What dirty work? It's an outdoor pursuits weekend." Erin told her ma. "I thought you said you were building bridges?" Mary asked her. "Not real bridges ma, metaphorical bridges." Erin told her ma simply. "Then why can't you wear metaphorical trousers?" Mary replied, still upset about the price of the trousers.

"Will any of your crowd be going, love?" Sarah asked Clare. "My crowd?" Clare replied, confused at what she meant. "Or can you not get protestant lesbians?"Sarah asked in genuine wonder. "No, I think you can get them all right, it's just..." Clare replied, visibly uncomfortable. "I heard that K.D Lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she's got some set of pipes on her. You're very talented people." Granda told Clare, making me stare at him in confusion. "Thank you?" The girl responded, unsure whether it was a compliment or not.

"Has anyone seen my bow and arrow?" Orla came round the corner looking like bear grills, holding a torch in one and and a knife in the other. "Is that a knife? Orla, you can't bring that" I told the girl while walking over to her, trying to take the knife away from her. "Orla really thrives in the wild, you know. That time we went camping in Portsalon, sure, she was like Mowgli running around them woods. She was that happy, Mary, I honestly thought about leaving her there." Sarah told us honestly, making me giggle "why didn't you?" I questioned my Aunt, jokingly. The doorbell rang, Interrupting our separate conversations. "I'll go." Erin told us, running off to open the door.

"Bet that's what he said when he was napped." Michelle said, making no sense as she entered the house with James trailing behind her, speeding towards me as he saw me. "Who got nabbed?" Erin questioned. "Have youse not heard? You know your man? Floppy hair, English..." Michelle started, making me put my hand in James hair and touch his face with my free hand while looking up at him. "Reminds me of someone..." I said, grinning up that the English boy, making him smile and blush back at me. I leant onto my toes and kissed him quickly. "...Fuck a doodle this, Fuck a doodle that. He's flat out going to weddings with his mates, until one of them, the day, beardy one in the skirt, until he croaks it and they're all, 'we need to show this man a bit of respect around here, let's stop all the clocks.' He goes with your woman. Do you know her? She's a total ride, but she paperclips her frocks together. Well he was caught getting down and dirty with some hooker in the back of his BMW. Dark horse or what?" Michelle told us about something that, in honestly had no clue about anymore. "Good Morning Michelle." Mary welcomed the girl. "I am buzzing for this weekend. Them waterproof trousers do wonders for my hole." Michelle stated. "Oh same Michelle, although mine aren't the nicest colour, they're green. Lime green! I don't understand why I couldn't have Erins! She looks awful in them anyway." I told Michelle, making Erin kick me under the table. "Mine are pink, bright pink." James told me, saddened. "They were two for one, James, stop crying" Michelle told her cousin. I pouted up at him, feeling sorry for the boy. "Two for one? Where?" Mary turned around while asking. "Kay's catalogue. Oh, and my Mammy said to tell you..." Michelle started saying to the women, just before she was interrupted. "Her big bowl. I know, I know, I keep forgetting, I'll drop it round today." Mary told the girl, expecting that to be her memo. "No, she's says you're to hang on to it." Michelle corrected the mother, making her slowly turn around. "What? She doesn't want her big bowl back? But why? There's nothing wrong with that bowl." Mary said, not comprehending a reason as to why Deirdre wouldn't want her bowl back.