Bullet in the Heart - Professor Lupin

chocolate makes me unhappy

Hey guys :)) This is my first fanfic - it's a teacher student between Professor Lupin and Iris Bluehorn. I wanted to do something a little different, this story contains a lot of issues surrounding mental health as I thought I would see how Hogwarts would handle things like that, so if you are sensitive to those things please read with caution!

It starts off sort of love hate and then turns into something more interesting! I am open to any criticism so please let me know! It would mean a lot if you could vote (at least on chapters which you find good) or maybe even recommend to a friend who also likes our beloved Lupin.

Enjoy and let me know what you think...

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I come from a family that doesn't know love, well at least I don't know love.

My name is Iris Bluehorn and this is my last year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have spent the last six years learning the tricks of how to become a witch without faults which is an important concept in my family considering my father works at the Ministry. My mother passed away two years ago but that's not a subject I am keen to elaborate on. I have an older brother, Indigo he is my fathers pride and joy. Head boy, A star student and has moved to become an Auror after he left Hogwarts last year. I on the other hand am the problem of the family that my father prefers to keep secret, he doesn't like people knowing that his daughter fails most of her classes, that she has been suspended, gets a detention every week and of course that she is 'not quite right in the head', is how he likes to describe it. But, that is also something I am not to keen to elaborate on. So, this is how my story begins.

Tomorrow is the day, the last back to Hogwarts day I will ever have. The stress of packing as well as reassuring my dad that N.E.W.T's will of course be my top priority this year 'no matter the stress and pressures'.

"Iris, I am afraid I can't bring you to Kings Cross, big meeting at the ministry...I am sure you can manage yourself?" I laughed.

"Of course, what was I thinking? My father waving me off to my last school year? No, he is too busy", I gave off a sarcastic smile and walked out of the room, he didn't even deny it.

I was excited to see my friends again, they are a great distraction from the mess that was going on at home throughout the summer. Early the next morning I was off to Kings Cross, on my own. I arrived just in time to sprint onto the train before a prompt departure from platform 9 3/4. I slumped down the long corridor checking the cabins for my friends, they were all filled with chattering young students excited for what was to come. I passed the golden trio who seemingly had a new addition to their group, next to Hermione lay someone under their jacket, sleeping I suppose. I let out a quick wave and continued on my quest to find the others. I finally stopped at a very loud cabin filled with May, Tom and Jake who had clearly stashed some fire whiskey down their jackets for the long ride to come. I embraced all three to show them my happiness for finally being able to spend time with them again. Everyone told their stories from their fabulous summer, going to quidditch games, visiting diagon alley, going to parties and getting shit faced. I sat by and watched them tell me about their unproblematic families and fun with their friends whilst I could not help but sulk into the fire whiskey bottle reminiscing my fun summer of fighting with my dad, getting high alone and reading muggle novels. The fire whiskey started to hit more and more and before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

I woke up to an empty carriage and a note reading:

Next time don't get drunk on the train ride you twat !!

We had a tradition of pranking the drunkest out of group, I guess this time it was leaving me on the Hogwarts Express. I jumped up with a ringing noise in my ear and quickly hustled my things together, worried that I was already on my back to London. I jumped off the train into a dark mist floating above me. The air was eery and I felt a little uneasy having to walk to the castle by myself and probably already earn myself a detention on the first day back. I trod through the dark woods thinking about things that I probably shouldn't. Suddenly, I felt something cold surround me, I looked up to see a clothed being swarming around me with long bony hand outreached, I felt the cold within me suck out any remaining happiness, I felt weak and defenceless, I felt my soul turn to stone. I started to fall back, out of nowhere a bright light appeared and pushed the being away as if it had been shocked. I laid on the floor to weak to move and see what had happened. My head was heavy and my body was weak.

I opened my eyes to a hand outstretched to me, the hand was in the way of a very kind looking man. It was difficult to see his features but I could see his brown hair flopping in his face, and his ragged robes hanging from his body. He smiled as he saw me wake, "Hello there, you must have had quite a fright". I stayed still and didn't say a word. His warm hand lifted me up, I now stood facing him. I could make out his hazel eyes that were staring into mine, he had scares engraved upon his face.

"I am so sorry, I am Professor Lupin, new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. You were just attacked by a-" I cut him off.

"A dementor?" I remembered. He nodded whilst grabbing something from his tartan blazer, he handed me some chocolate from Honey-dukes. "It helps", he smiled trying to convince me to take it. I looked at the chocolate, "No thank you, chocolate makes me unhappy", he looked surprised but accepted and hid it back in his blazer. I started walking again and he followed.

"Are you sure you're alright Miss..?" he insisted on making sure I was alright, which was a weird feeling to come across.

"Miss Bluehorn, Iris Bluehorn" I answered, wondering what this conversation was going to be about as we still had quite a bit of land to cover before we reached Hogwarts.

"Well?" he persisted.

"I'm fine, I've seen worse", I couldn't really be bothered for this conversation especially not if it was going to be about my wellbeing as that often didn't end well.

He once again gazed at me in surprise, "Now what would cause such a young lady to see such horrible things?" he whispered with a chuckle thinking I was joking. I hadn't smiled once since I had caught sight of him.

"I'm quite different on the inside than the outside you see, if I was reversed I think one could see the real me" I stated, referring to my brokenness that surrounded the insides of my body but were hardly shown to the outside.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, "I guess for you it is the other way around?" I motioned to the scars drawn upon his face. His facial expression changed to one of fear. He composed himself, "I thought the saying goes never judge a book by it's cover!" he said sarcastically.

I glanced at him, "Exactly my point professor", I smiled for the first time since the conversation had started after making a point to him. It was weird having such a casual conversation with a professor, I liked it.

"You haven't learned about any students yet have you?" I asked worried that he was sent to look after me, make sure I don't kill myself or do anything stupid, that would be the worst first impression.

"No I haven't, why is that? Are you the smart one or the rebellious one?" he asked intriguingly. Thank god we had arrived by the bridge.

"I guess you'll have to find out", I winked at him and ran off down the bridge.

He shouted after me, "Why are you running?"

"That's what I do!" I turned back and laughed, "Anyways, don't want you to think I'd be late on the first day back!"

I heard him laugh behind me, and so I ran on to the great hall.