Bullet in the Heart - Professor Lupin

burnt toast and cold tea

Although Jake and Tom apologised nothing else changed. They still stuck by May pretending like they hadn't spoken to me in fear that she would lash out at them. In the evenings I would go for a quick fag with them and catch up whilst May was fucking Cedric in the astronomy tower. It annoyed me that they didn't want to show May that they were speaking to me again but I couldn't let it bother me too much - they were the only ones left. Lupin was an asshole but our moments together did make the world seem a little better. Charlie had been sent home for two weeks, she didn't tell me much just that her family was having problems and that she needed to be there. I still went to meals with Ced and his friends but I could tell they were getting sick of me and I didn't want to become a bother for them so I was starting to distance myself. This meant not going to as many meals with them - so just not going to that many meals. I assumed the Professors had stopped watching me as intently because no one had said anything. I was trying to get better, I really was but it was hard. Especially because nobody around me was noticing so I didn't even have an excuse to pretend. I tried to keep eating out of my head by continuing my morning runs. 

I was on my way to Potions, alone and late as usual. My scuffed black loafers were racing down the corridors. I slipped into the dungeons to the back of class hoping Snape hadn't noticed my tardiness as everyone was gathered around a potion. The girls looked very excited and the boys looked rather unbothered. I tapped Adrian Pucey on the shoulder who was standing in front of me, "What's this all about?"

He turned, "Snape's making us go over Amortentia, says we've forgotten all our fifth year shit", he nodded to the front where Snape had dropped the final ingredient into the black cauldron. 

"Everyone line up", he stepped aside as his black robes followed him. All the other students excitedly gathered in an un-orderly queue down the room. Each person went up to find out what their love smelt like. I stayed in the corner hoping Snape wouldn't notice as it would probably mean another detention. Most people's was expected, either their parents, siblings or boyfriends until one caught my ear. 

"Diggory what do you smell?" Snape hissed.

"Coconut, dark wood and burning birthday candles" Cedric laughed at the odd combination. I wondered for a second as the smell felt familiar and it definitely wasn't May's scent. May smelt clean and fresh, like freshly cut grass and her perfume was a strong concentration of vanilla - nothing like what Cedric just described. He stepped back to his group of friends. 

"Now Miss Bluehorn, before you spend the evening in detention with me for your continuous tardiness you can have a smell yourself", I grunted in disappointment - I thought I had gotten away with it. I slowly moved forward to the small black cauldron placed at the front of the classroom. I lowered my face down to the steam emerging from the edges. My nose adjusted to burnt toast, cold English breakfast tea and old books, there was even a bit of wet dog. I thought for a moment and then it clicked. Although the wet dog confused me the rest reminded me of the Professor. I felt my eyes widen as I felt Snape's glare wait for an answer. 

"And?" Snape waited. 

"I-I think chocolate or something", I replied shakily whilst staring at the cauldron in shock. 

"Alright then class, your homework is to write an essay on Amortentia - please include it's ingredients, uses and of course it's dangers", I tried to vanish from the classroom as fast as possible but was quickly stopped, "Miss Bluehorn, I will be seeing you in my office at 7pm sharp this evening. Understood?"

I nodded with a sarcastic grin and quickly scurried off. I couldn't believe what I had just smelt. It was impossible, why would the person I love smell like the Professor? I didn't want to accept it. How could it be? When we last smelt the amortentia potion it had smelt of clean cut grass and vanilla, May - my best friend. I had never loved a boy in my life and suddenly it was him. It was impossible.