Bullet in the Heart - Professor Lupin

Tea?

After I had spent another meal with Cedric and his friends as May was still ignoring me and Tom and Jake didn't really know what side to be on I left them to trot off to the library whilst I headed to the Professor's office. I reached the classroom and waited for a moment to hear music playing over a gramophone faintly. I didn't recognise the tune at first until I realised it was a muggle song, 'Superstar' by Sonic Youth. I followed the soft melody up the steps to the leaned open door to his office. I knocked quickly, kicking my heels as I heard the tune become quieter and footsteps approach the large oak door hovering in front of me.

"Good Evening Miss Bluehorn", he stood beside the dark oak door and gestured for me to enter the room. I had never been in his office before, it was cluttered with all sorts of things. The shelves were filled to the brim with old books falling apart at the spine, his desk was cluttered with essays and larger textbooks, the gramophone was stood in the corner on top of a pile of muggle novels. Next to me was a stand covered in his overcoat and a hat. He had let himself relax, his tie hung loosely around his neck and he was wearing his grey knit cardigan again. "Have a seat", his pulled back the chair that stood opposite his. I sat down quietly and stared at him in annoyance. "Tea?", my expression changed to one of confusion but I nodded slowly. 

"Why am I here?" I stated plainly whilst his back was turned to me focused on putting the kettle on. 

"I want to help you", he turned over his shoulder but then quickly retuned back to brewing some English breakfast. 

"No you don't"

"As far as I know you haven't cast a spell on me to read my mind so how would you know?"

"Because if you wanted to help me you wouldn't have let me embarrass myself in front of my whole class", I started to get annoyed.

"Now Miss Bluehorn everyone needs to fail before succeeding"

"Please don't lecture me with some inspirational bullshit", I shot back ready to get up and leave any second now.

"Seemed to work last time", he walked over to me and handed me a chipped mug, I held the warmth and watched him sit down in a big arm chair opposite me, "The best lessons I ever learned in life came from the worst experiences in my life"

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes", I laughed mocking his attempt at being helpful. 

"Iris, I am sorry that I didn't help you today but it wouldn't have been fair on the other students who I didn't help", he lent forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees still cupping his mug in both hands, "trust me it was just as hard watching you and not helping but that's not how one is supposed to teach, I am meant to push you. I wanted to help you I really did but I didn't want other students to complain that I didn't offer them as much help. I really did Iris, I promise and I really do want to help. I know what it's like to hide something and be so incredibly worried that it would come out." I stayed silent for a moment to take in what he said. My head fell back against the chair, I exhaled deeply. I lifted my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"Ok", I finally said, he reciprocated a grateful smile, "Where do we start?"

"Get up", I slowly lifted my heavy body out of the chair and chugged down my tea in one gulp. "Oh wow you are good at chugging", he looked at me in awe.

"What? Are you surprised?" I joked. 

"C'mon then", I followed him down the steps to the classroom where the large wardrobe stood infront of us. I felt my stomach sink with nervousness. "Let's start with the spell, Riddukulus", he stated.

"Riddukulus", I repeated holding out my wand shakily before me pointed at the cupboard. 

"You can't shake, you have to be bold", I tried to listen but my hand was quivering with fear. The Professor walked towards me, his body came close to my back, his hand moved forward and rested on mine helping me steady my grip around my wand. His other hand rested on my opposite shoulder steering my body towards the wardrobe. "You ready?", he whispered from behind in my ear, I felt a shiver run down my spine but the good kind. I nodded as he opened the cupboard. My heart was racing once again in utter panic. Out the cupboard came cakes and plates filled with 'delicious' delicacies ranging from fish and chips to Sunday roast's. I stood still, frozen in dread. "C'mon Iris, I know you can do it", the Professor still stood holding me in place as the food neared me. I stuttered but nothing happened, I couldn't get the words out. The Professor felt my sudden hit of pain and immediately closed the wardrobe. I sighed in exhaustion and let the Professor take my weight as I fell back. I dropped to the floor in his arms on the brink of crying. His warm hands wrapped around my body tightly in reassurance, I felt safe.