Back-Up Plan - Book 1 - S.E.

Britney/Brittany

"All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?" Mr. Schue asked, as Winnie frowned a bit, having no idea who the teacher was talking about, but noticing just how excited he was for the lesson.

"He discovered America." Brittany answered, as Mr. Schue sighed.

"Close." He said. "He did write an iconic chart topper: Sailing."

"I have a bad feeling about this lesson." Kurt mumbled quietly, as Tina nodded.

"Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him." She said, as Winnie chuckled.

"Now some people think of the term Easy Listening as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself." Mr. Schue said, as he started to give out some music sheets to his very unenthusiastic students. "You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones... And you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you."

At that, Winnie frowned, looking down at her music sheet and noticing it was Arthur's Theme. Now, of course she had heard the song before, but, really, that wasn't the type of music Winnie would consider a favorite. And, clearly, that wasn't the case for Finn Hudson either.

"How could you get caught between the moon and New York City?" He asked, confused. "They're like a hundred miles apart."

Winnie shook her head at the boy, then, but before anyone could even say anything else, Kurt raised his hand.

"Mr. Shue? If I may." He said, as Mr. Schue nodded and gave him the word. "I think I speak for all of us when I say it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand: that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by... Wait for it... Ms. Britney Spears."

And, just like that, the room erupted in cheers and shouts of agreement. Tina and Winnie had already leaned toward each other, ignoring Mike in between them as they started to go on and on about a number for them to perform until, Mr. Schue decided to interject.

"Sorry, Kurt, sorry." He said, as everyone turned to look at him with a frown. "No, no, no. I don't think she's a very good role model."

"But, Mr. Shue, we kind of grew up with her." Rachel said.

"She's literally why I wanted to become a performer." Tina added as the room hummed in agreement, since everyone seemed buzzed about doing Britney.

Well, everyone except for...

"I don't want to do Britney." Brittany spoke up, causing everyone to turn to look at her.

"Why no Britney, Brittany?" Kurt asked then.

"Because my name is also Brittany Spears." She said, as Winnie frowned.

"What?" She whispered.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Mercedes scoffed.

"My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce." Brittany explained then, as if any of this even made sense at all. "That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce. I've lived my entire life in Britney Spear's shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

At that, everyone grew silent, unsure on what to do next.

"Well, there you have it, guys." Mr. Schue said, taking the opportunity Brittany had just given him to avoid doing Britney in glee club. "It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry."