𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛.✔️

#24

Essence

Three hours. What was meant to be a half-hour meeting turned into three hours and I was livid. Here I was halfway through a book that I barely understood from how often my mind slipped to thoughts of Killian. Damn him. I should have never believed him. What could they possibly be doing planning a drug feast?

Was that even a thing?

I lay my head back and swung my arms down on the side dropping the book on the floor in the process. I usually loved reading, but for some reason, I couldn't get my mind to silence itself enough to focus. Letting it win, I closed my eyes basking in the thoughts.

Is this my life now?

Before, I'd give anything to be in this position, it was a thousand times better than being at that house locked away, sheltered. Although right now I was struggling to see the difference.

Just as I think I'm about to fall asleep on the couch the door swung open showing a heated Killian. Quickly sitting up I furrowed my brows adjusting my posture. What's got his panties in a twist?

In walks in Fraser, Zail and Neil right after. They all seemed on edge while wearily watching Killian relentlessly rant in a different language. Either they forgot I was here or were too entranced in the angered man to notice.

"quei fottuti idioti!" he yelled at the men in front of him. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping them into fists, I'm pretty sure his nails were piercing through his palms.

"Calm down, we'll figure it out" Neil reassured him, Killian snapped his head towards him, and fear flashed in Neil's eyes before he made the smallest movement to step back and slightly bowed his head.

"Fanculo" he closed his eyes trying to compose himself but was failing miserably as he started to pace back and forth. Suddenly, I stood up and took a step forward making more noise than I intended, creaking the floors.

All eyes were now on me.

"Shit-" I muttered "Oh fuck sorry-shit-" I say not being able to control my swearing. Closing my eyes from embarrassment I exhale deeply. Fucking hell. The moment I open them again Killian's eyes connect with mine, they soften for a couple of seconds before going back to their angered state.

He unclutched his fists just to rub his forehead so hard that it creased. "Sorry," I mumble shuffling in my spot. He narrows his eyes at me but doesn't respond. The room fills with strong silent tension. "What happened?"

"Nothing" he's quick to reply this time

"Well clearly it wasn't nothing" I took a step toward him, and he looked down at my movement and then back into my eyes.

"Nothing happened ok?" He nodded in agreement even though nothing was settled. What an ass. He walked towards the desk sitting down on it still leaving the boys awkwardly standing by the door.

"Well then, are you ok?" I pressed on, I was annoyed I knew it but no one was asking him and he was going through it. "Killian," I say when silence takes over the room.

"God, I'm fine," He snapped at me, I raised my eyebrows not believing what I was hearing. Was he mad at me for checking in on him? He widens his eyes, and shock takes over his face for a few seconds before he shakes his head and breaks eye contact with me. Placing his finger on his temple massaging it. mumbling curses under his breath

I turned away from him and sat back down on the couch crossing my legs, patiently waiting for when he wanted to talk normally and not let his anger get the best of him.

The silence spoke louder than words as he looked physically pained by my expression.

I watched from the corner of my eyes as he came to sit next to me. A sigh left his lips, it was a sigh that made it seem like he was doing some sort of chore so ignoring him, I kept my head forward "Look at me" he said leaning forward to try and catch my eyes."Essence look at me" there he goes again saying my name with such need, making me comply the next second.

His eyes catch me his grey specks burning into mine, my face feeling like it was on fire, and my insides bursting with flutters uncontrollably. He was no longer angry but his face remained intense.

My body stayed still, matching my expression, I wasn't going to show the effect he had on me, not when I'd known him for such a short period.

He cleared his throat as if something was lodged inside of it, I raised a brow waiting for him to speak first, "I'm sorry," he said sounding sincere but I couldn't read him, I never could and it was annoying me to the fullest. Did he mean what he said?

Not knowing what to say I break our eye contact, looking at the others. Fraser's eyes widened in shock while Neil and Zail just stood curiously watching us. Exhaling deeply I look back at Killian whose eyes never left my face.

"It's fine, can we go I can't be kept in this place any longer" I mumbled getting up, before I could step away he grabbed my arm turning me back around to face him.

He towers over me looking at me as if he is trying to study me or figure something out. All I could think was that I should be the one trying to figure him out. He was a total mystery.

"Essence." He starts, before he even gets a chance to say anything else I shrug him off. Shaking my head I head towards the door, the boy steps aside immediately for me allowing a pathway to form. Killian sighs behind me.

"We will leave, just wait," Killian grumbled before walking back to his desk and picking up the wired phone in the corner. At the door scrunched my face and crossed my arms.

I am so over waiting.

"Se entro domani e questa merda non è sistemata, ti taglierò tutte le gole," he says, angrily into the phone, the tone is so hard that it sends chills down my spine but once his eyes reach mine midway between softens it.

I raise a brow tapping my foot on the floor impatiently.

"Damn," Neil says looking down. Wait, what did he say?

"What?" I whisper. They don't answer instead they nervously share looks. Rolling his eyes Killian slams the phone back down and stalks towards me. "Now we can go" he puts on a fake smile until he circles us immediately going back to his angry state.

I chuckle softly to myself "Finally," I say following after him. "You know you really shouldn't frown so much, causes wrinkles," Killian immediately stops walking, I'm an inch away from bumping into him before Zail grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"You do not wanna anger him more," Zail whispers at my side. I clamp my mouth shut and tightly nod watching Killian slowly turn around. He's about to speak until his eyes land on Zail's grip on my arm, before I can follow his eyes to it Zail releases me as if I burned him and takes a step back.

"I don't get wrinkles," Killian narrows his eyes at me.

"Well not yet," I say under my breath looking down to avoid his reaction.

"What did you just say?" Killian's shoes come into view as he takes a step towards me. His aura radiates through my body so much so that I don't even need to look up at his face to know how he is feeling. Though he was angry I could sense a little amusement, especially in his tone.

"I didn't say anything," I say looking at him through my lashes. He looks between my eyes for a few seconds before humming unconvinced. "You're hearing things." Now raising my head fully I fix my posture.

His mouth opens to speak but I quickly circle him to walk away. "Now I can't hear," he mumbles following after me. "I'm not stupid Bambina."

"I mean-" Zail starts.

"Shut it."