blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

the one where he says goodbye

     Lily remembered the day that she had told Hunter that her and Scott were separating. She avoided the truth, deciding he was too young for him to truly understand what was going on. Or perhaps, she wasn't exactly ready to fully accept it herself. Whatever the true motive was behind the secrecy of the true nature of her divorce, Lily had elected to keep Hunter as far from the process as she possibly could, even when it seemed virtually impossible. But the day she knew would stick with both of them was one she continued to live in her nightmares, and tried to hide.

The day she told Hunter her and Scott were separated.

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Lily parked the car in the gray pavement driveway in front of the ranch style rambler she and Scott had said they'd make a home in. She glanced in the mirror briefly, only to meet the swollen eyes of someone who just broke her own heart. Dabbing a tissue under her eyes, Lily mentally prepared herself for the bridge she would have to cross mere moments from the one she sat in. Replaying his words again and again, Lily felt the hot tears stream down her raw face once more. They were scarce, barely leaving a trail as her body reached in the depths of her to pull them out.

Switching off the car, Lily stepped out into the cool fall air of suburban New York City. The refreshing breeze on her face helped soothe the ache of her raw skin, and prepared the blonde for the bombshell she'd be dropping on her innocent son. Patting down the skirt of her baby blue dress, Lily made her way up the few stairs to the gray porch, unlocking the door to the most painful thing she knew she would ever face.

"Hunter?" She called out, stepping out of her shoes, "Gen? I'm home!" Her voice shook as she spoke, threatening to break open and douse the hardwood floors in the painful waters of her heartbreak.

"We're in here!" Gen yelled from the living room.

Taking one more deep breath, Lily began her descent further into the house. Pictures of the three of them on the walls made Lily's stomach churn with guilt. Maybe if she had been a better wife this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if she focused on him more, he wouldn't have gone looking. Maybe if Lily was enough, she wouldn't have to break her son's family apart. With each step she took, Lily felt the walls close in on her. The pictures of the Harvey family, smiling and beaming at a park. Or when she was pregnant, all swollen and glowing, with nothing in her eyes. Nothing but dread and regret for what she had done in life to lead to that point.

The roof began to drop in on her the moment she rounded the corner to where her son and best friend sat, playing an innocent game of Super Mario Kart. His smile was still wide and eyes filled with hope and wonder. And Lily stood there like a vacuum, ready to take it all away.

"Hey Mom!" Hunter exclaimed, the young seven year old boy beaming up at his mother before turning his attention back to the TV in front of him.

"Hey buddy," Lily cooed, dropping down and ruffling the boy's hair, "Can we pause the game for a bit? I've got to talk to you about something."

Hunter's eyes grew wide and he whipped his head to stare at the blonde, "Is dad coming home!?"

Pursing her lips in a tight smile, Lily felt the dry tears well up in her eyes once again. Moving her hand to the boy's cheek, she ran a thumb over his supple cheek. She would have rather anything than to take away that boyish charm that he had. The bright, beaming smile that kept her going on a daily basis. The wide forest forest green eyes with such hope for the world, even when he curled into her the nights she cried alone in bed. Neither ever spoke about it or even mentioned it, but Lily wondered if he knew how much what he did meant to her. Pushing away any reservations he had about his fathers reaction and simply putting his mother first.