His graduation came and as promised I was there. As I looked at him on that stage receiving his diploma and hearing the commentator mention his achievements, I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. I feel so proud seeing him now. Parang pakiramdam ko he became a man overnight. Ngayon mas confident na akong kaya n'ya akong ipagtanggol kahit kanino... not that I'm doubting him before. Iba kasi ngayon. Feeling ko he's matured a lot. Hindi na s'ya 'yung dating Poopie ko na dinadaan ang lahat sa biro o pang-aasar sa akin. Ngayon he has wisdom and I know he will use that wisdom to protect me from anything.
After the graduation ceremonies, we had dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was his mom's gift daw at 'yung kay Ninong Ramon naman ay nandun naman sa bahay naghihintay. And because of that, Grant couldn't wait to get home. Parang nagmadali nga 'ata kaming kumain eh.
True enough when we got home, a brand new black Honda Civic was waiting in the garage. Sa sobrang magkadugtong na ang mga bituka namin ni Grant ay pareho kaming na-excite sa bago n'yang kotse. Feeling ko akin din 'yun.
"Dad, can we take it out for a spin?" he excitedly asked Ninong Ramon.
He handed him a key and said, "Of course. It's yours."
"Let's go Poopie!" he told me.
Ako naman ay walang dalawang-isip na sumakay sa passenger's seat. Ni hindi ko man lang naisipang magpaalam muna kay Mommy. Maingat na minaneho ni Grant ang kotse n'ya palabas ng garahe namin.
"Saan tayo pupunta?" I asked him.
"Ikaw, saan mo gusto pumunta?"
"Ice cream?"
"Tara! Drive thru tayo sa McDo ng sundae."
"Game."
Hindi naman malayo ang pinuntahan namin dahil a few blocks lang outside our subdivision ay may McDo. After doon ay umuwi na rin kami kasi it was kinda getting late. Habang nagdadrive s'ya, at in between ng pagkain ko ng sundae ko, ay sinusubuan ko s'ya. Ganito kami hanggang makapagpark s'ya sa tapat ng bahay namin. Pero hindi agad kami bumaba. We decided to stay there and talk.
"Poopie, paano ba 'yan eh di hindi na kita masyadong makikita ngayon. Malamang palagi ka na lang nasa gimmick with your friends dahil may kotse ka na," ang sabi ko.
"Syempre palagi kitang isasama."
"Eh paano kung di naman ako payagan ni Mommy."
"Si Ninang ba ang hindi papayag o si Cody?"
"Ano naman ang pake ni Cody?" I defensively asked. But the truth is I know what he's talking about.
"Tapatin mo nga ako. May balak ka bang sagutin s'ya?"
"Anong klaseng tanong 'yan?"
"Oh c'mon! I'm pretty sure you're thinking about it. Ikaw pa. Eh lahat ng ginagawa mo ay pinag-iisipan mo. Ito pa kaya."
"Nakakainis ka! Bakit alam mo ang lahat ng ginagawa ko?"
"Para saan pa na ako ang bestfriend mo? Pati amoy ng utot ng isa't isa ay alam na alam natin."
"Yuck! Pati ba naman 'yun, Poopie."
"Bakit, hindi ba totoo? We know each other that much."
"Kung sa bagay..."
"So? Ano na ang sagot sa tanong ko?"
"Well...of course I'm thinking about it. Sino ba naman ang hindi mapapaisip? I mean he's such a great guy. Minsan nga he's too good to be true. Natatakot ako na baka isang araw pinagtatawanan na ako sa school dahil bet or joke lang pala ang panliligaw n'ya sa akin."
"Bakit gan'yan ang naiisip mo? Has he shown you things that make you think like that?
"Wala. Walang ganun. Siguro this is just the part of me who's being cautious. If ever, this will be my first relationship. At sa totoo lang ay natatakot ako at baka masaktan lang ako in the end."
"Being in a relationship is all about taking risks. Falling in love is not all about chocolates and roses or mushy stuff. You have to work on it and treasure it in order to keep it. At sa lahat ng mga bagay na 'yun ay may kasamang risk. If you end up getting hurt, tough. You hurt because you love."
I looked around and checked his back, which confused him. "Anong ginagawa mo?" he asked.
"Anong ginawa mo sa Poopie ko? Hindi ikaw ang Poopie ko," ang biro ko sa kanya.
"Sira ka talaga!"
"But on a serious note, I understand what you're saying. Sana ganun lang kadali 'yun para sa akin," I told him.
"Then just give it a try. You won't know until you take a plunge."
"Teka nga! Bakit ba palaging love life ko ang topic natin? Bakit 'yung sa 'yo hindi natin pinag-uusapan?"
"Kasi wala naman tayong pag-uusapan sa love life ko. I don't have one."
I can't believe that I said this but I was able to... with much caution, "Ah Poopie, meron ka bang hindi sinasabi sa akin tungkol sa pagkatao mo? Bestfriend mo ako. Tanggap ko ang lahat ng bagay tungkol sa 'yo."
"If you are implying that I am gay, then you're wrong."
"Aaaah. Akala ko kasi..."
"Pagdududahan mo akong bakla ako? Hindi mo ba talaga ako kilala?"
"Eh kasi naman sa ginwapo mong 'yan at sa dinami-dami ng nagkakandarapa sa 'yo eh wala ka pa ring nagiging girlfriend. Ni wala ka man lang nililigawan. Eh crush meron ka?"
"Tsss! Crush!"
"Oo, crush! 'Yung taong inaadmire mo o nagugustuhan mo? Wala ka bang feeling na ganun?"
"Sus! I am way past that."
"Huh? Wala kang crush?"
"Ganito na lang. I have a person in mind but I don't wanna do something about it. I am letting her live her life and when the right time comes, I know she will come to me."
"Aaaah... so pinaiiral mo pala ang kayabangan mo! Sige nga Mister Pogi, paano kung hindi dumating 'yung right time na sinsabi mo at tuluyan na s'yang makawala? Saan ka ngayon pupulutin?"
"Look, hindi naman sa I won't do anything at all. I mean if I meet someone and I fall in love then so be it. Maybe I'll get over her. But if the time comes na s'ya pa rin talaga ang gusto ko eh di babawiin ko na s'ya. If we are meant to be together, we will end up together."
"What?! That's crazy! Kung may boyfriend s'ya ay aagawin mo s'ya sa boyfriend n'ya?"
"Maybe. Siguro I'll drop hints so that she'll finally know that I have feelings for her. And again, kung talagang we are meant for each other, we will end up together."
"That plan is so screwed up!"
"It's not. I just have to believe in destiny."
"Alam mo, you are crazy for even having this plan in your head. I just hope you get to meet someone you'll fall head-over-heels in love with para hindi mo na kailangang bawiin ang babaeng 'yon. Dang! Bawiin! Crazy!"
"Relax ka lang, Poopie. Don't stress out too much. Hindi mo nga alam kung sino 'yung girl na sinasabi ko eh."
"I don't have to know. I don't even wanna know at baka puntahan ko pa s'ya at warningan sa maitim mong balak. Pasok na nga tayo sa loob. Nasestress ako sa 'yo," ang pataray na sabi ko sabay bukas ng pinto ng kotse n'ya.
Sa sobrang inis ko sa kanya ay pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay namin na hindi man lang tinitignan kung sumunod s'ya sa akin. Nang nakarating na ako sa kwarto ko na walang nangungulit sa akin ay doon ko na-realize na hinayaan n'ya lang ako.
He brought me breakfast in bed the next morning. He said it's his way of saying sorry. However, he made it clear that he was saying sorry for not following me the previous night para maayos agad ang aming misunderstanding at hindi dahil sa mga sinabi n'ya. He said he stands by what he said at kung ano man daw ang nabuong 'plano' sa isip n'ya ay hahayaan lang n'yang magkatotoo o mabago.
Dito ako nagsimulang magdasal that he would meet someone who can make him fall in love with her.
