My phone rang and it was my mom. She wanted me to visit her place in Washington. This is a good distraction. She welcomed me with open arms. I wasn't able to visit when I started working at Harvard because I got really busy and she didn't want to travel 3000 miles just to go back after a few short days. We stayed in contact through facetime.
"What's wrong, honey?" I looked at her with beady eyes.
"Mom. Why did dad leave us?" Out of nowhere , this came right off my mouth.
"Elle, honey, what do you mean?" My mom didn't expect that. She broke from my embrace and went to the kitchen to make tea. I followed her.
"You never told me. Both of you never told me." she stopped pouring hot water from the teacups and looked at me somberly.
"Your dad got scared. He said he wasn't ready to raise a child yet. We were in our early 20s when we had you." She began pouring water again to the teacups." I knew in an instant that my decision was stupid. I hugged my mom and went out. I took a plane to go back to Portland. My heart was racing and my mind was all over the place. Joe's gods must be happy now. Hen will be happy to hear what I'm about to say to him. My heart will finally be happy, too. I closed my eyes to get some rest before I shamingly asked Hen to take me back but I heard a loud murmur from behind me that killed the light I had inside. Hen and Jessie publicized their relationship. It doesn't matter, I forced myself to think that. He'll just have to break up with Jessie, right? I just have to confess and we'll see from there. I remembered that I never asked mom how she felt when dad told her those words. For sure, she was shocked but every heartbreak is unique and I should have stayed a little longer to hear her thoughts. After the 7 hour flight , I quickly asked her about it. I thought she hung up but she wasn't speaking.
"Mom, Hello? Can you hear me?" I said a little louder than before. I heard her drink water. It must have been a whole glass.
"It was like putting a bullet in my head, Elle. I couldn't believe the man I thought, who loved me, wanted nothing from me and you. We had you, Elle. You were the fruit of our love but he got cowardly. I hated him and that drained me. But looking back now, I was glad he left instead of putting up a front." I smiled. I was proud of my mom. I don't know how it will help my quest in finding Hen and confess my love for him but it made me sure of the choice I'm willing to make. I was tired from the flight but I just had to tell Hen. I didn't want to wait another day.
I went to Jessie's place. I rang the doorbell and Jess opened with a shock in her face. She wasn't expecting me. I told her I forgot to take a selfie of his boyfriend because I got starstruck again. A lie of course. She was still shocked. She was gullible. And then I spotted something shiny and sparkling. I held her hand.
"What's this Jessie?" I couldn't hide my true feelings any longer. She hugged me.
"I did it, Elle! I've been meaning to do it for so long now. He just said yes and you rang my doorbell after, which explains my i-can't-believe-it face."
"You proposed to him? You've just been seeing each other for five months!" My guilt took over. Jessie froze and I didn't have time to shake her back to reality. I trespassed in her house. I saw Hen in the living room staring at the silver band on his finger.
"How could you say yes, Hen! Are you insane!" I said angrily. His shocked expression says it all.
"What are you doing here?" He went towards me. This is it. My talk of shame.
"I worked my whole life just to be where I am today but it didn't make me happy. The past three years were hell for me too. I missed you so much. I got scared but I'm not anymore. Take me back, please. Choose me again." I started crying. He stood there in awe. He didn't say anything. He paced back and forth. Then suddenly, a stinging and painful sensation arose on my cheeks. Jessie slapped me.
"What do you think you're doing, Elle?" Jessie was angry. My face was hot and teary. Hen didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to her. All I wanted to hear is Hen speak. I needed to know his answer.
"Hen." I grabbed him by the arm. He looked away.
"I think it's time for you to leave , Elle."
