𝗔𝗕𝗬𝗦𝗦 : ᴬ ᴿᵉᵛⁱᵉʷ ˢʰᵒᵖ {𝐎𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝}

.˚ ᵎ┊͙ '𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝘆𝗲𝘀 𝗧𝗲𝗹𝗹'

Book Name - Your Eyes Tell
Author - 123hikibakas
Reviewer - -DXRKKIM-

Total Marks ~ 100

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧-05/10
Okay it's good but I noticed only the same few were commenting on your book.

𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫-05/15
Your cover is good like the pictures and all but one of the most important thing which are the fonts, they weren't placed properly like the quote that you have used is blurry and to read it I have to push my glasses more so that I can read it but still I was unable to read it-.I will suggest you to make new one or just place those fonts properly.

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞-09/10
Its quite good, I mean its rare but somehow I think it didn't match your story like there were nothing in your story as well as in your description that said 'his eyes tell' like there must be a line like 'Maybe he acts cold but his eyes tells the truth' or anything else but by what you have written in your book and description, I think you should change the title to 'Your eyes' instead.

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧-03/05
It's medium sized which is good because usually long descriptions are somehow boring. And one thing in the description that I wanted to point out is you have written there like 'A girl who's family was murdered when she was at the age of nine, returns back to find her family...' so I really can't understand where she returns back like you can write it like this 'A girl whose family was murdered when she was at the age of nine. Coming back to the place where her parents were killed to find the killer'. And you know when description of a story ends with a cliffhanger it makes the readers curious about your story and just like this they tend to read it further but you've slipped all mystery in the description like I will suggest you to not reveal her family's killer in the description and I've read you have revealed it in chapter 13 that's perfect but it was not like shocking or anything because I already know about it.

𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭-10/10
Okay so I found the Book plot rare, it's quite interesting.

𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬-08/10
I haven't seen any- maybe you can make one by revealing that the person she works for is the Killer as I said earlier.

𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧-05/10

𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐕𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲-20
The only thing that I wanted to correct- So to be very very honest your story is a masterpiece but just because of the grammar and vocabulary it doesn't look like one, I know you have said this already that english is not your first language and all but to make your book one of the best fanfiction you have to take care of that. Like I've found a lot of mistakes but it's perfectly fine since I can relate. Now let me just correct few of them ( I (j)hope you won't mind :') ) ~

• Correction of 'I'm a total mess up' is 'I'm a total mess'
• You don't have to write that girl's last name as in capital letters like 'OH' it looks like an expression to me- just write it like 'Oh'.
• Asterisks are usually used to show the expression and all in a sentence but you don't have to write it like this '!!!!!!!!!!' it looks weird only writing it for two times is enough.
• Using 'pronounce' like in the first chapter there's a sentence like 'Her hand grabbed me' but it was that girl's dad so instead of 'her', it should be 'him'.
• Instead of 'load' write 'lods' or just 'a lot'.
• Instead of 'I didn't want...' write 'I don't want...'
• There's a sentence like 'I used to work part-time knew this' I really didn't understand this one-.
• Instead of 'Anyone don't know me' write 'No one knows me'.
• Instead of 'Good byed them' write 'I bend them goodbye'.

There were few typos so make sure to correct it!

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧-05/05

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭-05/05
I didn't see any, Jungkook is still cold (yea a few times you showed that he's a nice guy but still) and that girl is still weak but I'm giving you full marks because it's just the starting of your book maybe in future there will be.

𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐧: You grammar mistakes and cover as I said earlier

𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐀𝐭: I think you are good at the way you write like the gaps and all were placed quite properly and other stuff.

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧: Okay Not gonna lie Your book is a masterpiece (UwU). In the beginning somehow it was a little bit boring but as I read further, I really enjoyed it! And I'm sorry if I've offended you with my words, I just wanted to help you so that your book can be more amajin TT.
And I think, I should take my leave now- I will be waiting for your updates author-nim! You Nice Keep Going! <3.

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥:75/100

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