1) I won't reply to your text. It's not because I don't want to speak to you, which you'll begin thinking, it's because the world does not slow for texts and I'd much rather be beside you, raspy voices and honest truth that we can't edit with a backspace or capitalization.
2) I will embarass you, no doubt. Very rarely do I feel like dressing up and putting make up on, so you'll have to deal with my entire flawed self. I will go out in public in my pajamas, and my hair in a mess bunched up at the top of my head. I will squeeze your hand and I will hug you often, at the most random of times. I may become annoying when I tell you you're a celestial composition of everything I've ever dreamt of. I may be lying. I may not be.
3) I'll lie to you. I will tell you I am okay when I am not. I will tell you everything's alright when the world is dying and the sky is falling, it is up to you to pursue the truths from a broken girl and I highly advice against it.
4) I will expect you to aid me in my adventures. I hope you don't mind staying up until five am sitting on the porch listening to Lana del Ray or the Arctic Monkeys, watching the sun rise. I hope you don't mind going on long car rides and drinking good coffee at a coffee shop three hundred miles from home.
5) I won't always be there when you wake up. But it's not because I've left you, I would never dream of leaving you. Maybe it's because I'm trying to cook breakfast, or maybe I went to fetch us coffee. Don't be afraid, I'll always return. Very seldomly do I make promises, but I can promise this.
6) You will see my soul in the am, and it's not a pretty sight. You may have to hold me when I begin crying until I fall asleep. I'm a lot to handle, and I hope you handle with care. But honestly, I wish you wouldn't handle me at all. It'll be both of our downfalls.
7) I like dancing to music in the dark and drinking shitty coffee (you'll learn how I like it, I require that in our relationship, dear). I will call you by strange nicknames with little or no reason, and I will draw pictures of you while you sleep. I'm peculiar, they say, and I embrace this. Will you?
8) I will kiss you like I love you but the words will never leave my lips. I don't beleive in I Love You, I beleive in raw kisses and passionate sex. I beleive in showing love trough fingertips and souls poured through our eyes. You can see that I love you in how I act, how I hold you close at night and how I murmur your name in my sleep. Maybe one day I'll tell you, but until then, just know this to be true.
I am a mess and I suggest you keep away, because I am hard to love- and yet you stay.
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YOU ARE READING
bones
Randomi wrote this when i thought love was the look in his eyes rather than mine.
