Ghost In You & Me

Talk To Me

Note : you can listen to the song first..

Rosé is not surprise when Jisoo pulls a cigarette from its pack and puts it in her mouth (this girl will die young if she keeps smoking as much as she is now), the next thing the latter does surprises her though. Jisoo turns her head to the side when she light up her cigarette and blows the smoke. She even makes sure the tip of cigarette is away from Rosé so the smoke won’t come to her. Rosé raises her eyebrow at that gesture

“Lisa said you can’t stand smoke scent.” Jisoo answers her wordless question.

“Yes, I can’t.”

“Why you never tell me?”

Rosé wants to rolls her eyes at that. “I think the way I acted every time you smoke is obvious enough and even if I tell you, will you listen?”

“No.”

“I know that’s why I didn’t say anything. It save my breath,” says Rosé before going back to eat. She always likes this café, too bad it’s a bit expensive. Good thing today she’s not the one who pays.

Neither of them says anything for a while until Rosé breaks the silence in between the chews, “You know, I think I learn a lot while being with you.”

“Aside from what you learn in bed?” replies Jisoo nonchalantly.

Rosé’s eyes widen, “Why your mind is so dirty!? I don’t even think about that!”

“Well, you do improve. It’s not like you’re inexperienced when we did it for the first time but these days you improve a lot.”

“I don’t want to talk about this!”

“You weird, Chaeng. You’re shy when talking about sex but when you do it…” Jisoo shrugs, “You actually quite a minx in bed.”

“Let’s stop talking about this!”

Jisoo ignores her of course and keeps talking. Since when this girl listen to her anyway? “You still not at my level yet but nothing's wrong with that. My level is much up there, which is not a surprise. After all if I’m not good you won’t keep coming back to me. ”

“LET’S STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS!” Rosé can feel the hotness in her face and the fact that this girl looks really amuse doesn’t make the situation better.

Jisoo lets out a smirk while Rosé glares at her. The latter cough first before begins again, “Just like I said before, I learn a lot. I think I’m growing up. Not height wise but I like to think I become more mature.”

Rosé glances at her companion but the girl in front of her just stays silent, wordlessly tells her to continue. Rosé takes a deep breath and continues, “People always want to be understood, including me. We always want other people to understand us but I realize now there’s a time when we need to be the one that do the understanding. Spending time with difficult you make me acknowledge that.”

Rosé looks to her side, “I regret I just realize this now though. If I realize it sooner maybe…” Maybe that relationship still can be saved.

Jisoo still doesn’t say anything, she just keeps looking at Rosé. It honestly makes Rosé feels uncomfortable. She squirms a bit at her chair, too bad that action makes the pain in her lower area comes back and she can’t help but to flinch. Jisoo’s eyes soften when she sees that and the guilt once again clouded Jisoo's eyes.

“I’m fine, it just sting a little.” The girl doesn’t seem like she believes her though so Rosé says again, “I’m really fine, don’t worry. The pain not gonna stay for long.”

Jisoo just turns her face to the side and blows the smoke, still doesn’t say anything. Rosé decides to change the subject, “Do you have anywhere to go after this?”

“Work.” Finally this girl says something.

“I see. I will see you there then.” Jisoo arches her eyebrow. “Today and tomorrow are weekends so we can stay up all night if we want to and we can start after you finish your work.”

“You want to do it again today?”

Rosé lets out a smirk, “I didn’t enjoy myself last night so you better do something about it.”

Jisoo chuckles at that before returns Rosé’s smirk with another smirk, “Since when you become this cheeky?”

Rosé can’t help but to smirk wider, “I learn from the best.”

***

Rosé buries her face in the pillow, which covered by black hair. She desperately trying to catches her breath but the girl underneath her doesn’t let her do that. Jisoo pushes her hard so Rosé ends up laying on her back beside Jisoo. Both of them give their lungs chance to have oxygen they can’t have before.

Jisoo catches her breath first and she lets out a chuckle, “See? You do improve.”

That earns her a slap in the arm but Jisoo just keeps chuckling. Rosé groans before rolling to her side so she lies on her front and burying her face in the pillow again. Both of them fall into silent after that. Jisoo always like silent but she knows this silent will be broken soon. Rosé has that looks in her eyes again, a look like she wants to say something and knowing what happen last time, Jisoo doesn’t know what to expect.

“I don’t want to have another argument about love with you.” Jisoo says before Rosé has chance to says anything.

The latter scoffs, “Neither do I and that’s not what I want to talk about.” But Jisoo still right, this girl has something she wants to talk about.

Rosé’s face is half buries in the pillow and her eyes looks at Jisoo straight in the eyes. She doesn’t talk right away but when she finally talks her voice comes out soft, “When I broke up with my boyfriend I felt like I lost my way. I always thought love is what you need the most in a relationship and yet despite how our feelings stay the same that relationship still over. At that time I felt like everything I believe crumble down at me.”

“Love come and go. Just because you love someone and they love you back doesn’t mean they will stay with you forever.”

“I know,” Rosé replies softly. The pain in her eyes every time she talking about him is there but unlike usual it’s not a soul crushing pain and the lost look in her eyes is not there anymore. Slowly but surely this girl begins to move on. Jisoo wonders though, is Rosé herself realizing that?

“But just because love can’t make them stay doesn’t mean it’s not enough” Rosé says again. “Love makes you feel something you can cherish. And just because they come and go doesn’t mean they disappear. If one love leaves you, another will come to you and who knows, maybe the love that leave will come back. If that love is really for you they will find a way to come back to you.” She lets out a soft chuckle, "And you said you don't want to talk about love."  

Jisoo stays silent.

Rosé pause and takes a deep breath before she talks again, “You know, you the last person I thought will be there when I need someone the most but surprisingly you there and I’m glad. In your own way you cheer me up and I can’t be more thankful for that but I can’t help to think there’s something troubles you inside. You hide it well but how long you can hide it? How long until you break down from things you keep inside?” Their gazes still not breaking, “I want to be there for you when you need someone the most like how you there for me. I want to find you like how you found me and made me feel lost no more.”

Jisoo still doesn’t say anything but at this point Rosé already knows what that mean so she continues talking, “You often ignored what I said but when you want to listen you will listen and that makes me know I can talk to you. So I want you to know you can talk to me too.”

Jisoo closes her eyes and buries her head deeper to the pillow. She raises both of her arms to her face, hides her face in them and tries hard to prevent tears that she fear will come. Suddenly she feels a soft touch in her hand. Rosé brings her right hand down and strokes it slowly.

“I know talking can be hard especially when it involves feeling but bottling it up won’t make us feel better, it just gonna make it worse.” Yeah, it is.

“Talk to me. Just talk to me, Soo.”

But talking is not her specialty. Talking is never their specialty. They are sisters after all so of course they have something in common but despite that they never had problem to communicate with each other, they always found a way.

“Unnie, you suppose to say thank you.”

“I’m thankful, but why this? Don’t get me wrong, I love this but from a lot of choice for birthday present, why you decide to made me a scrapbook?”

“I always like writing. I can let out things that I can’t talk about.”

Jisoo can’t stop the memories to keep coming. Rosé’s words hit her like a sharp knife, slowly destroying her defense and behind all the walls lies Jisoo that Jennie always loves. The warm and vulnerable Jisoo with her memories and love for her sister.

Rosé lift Jisoo’s right hand to her lips, kissing it softly. Jisoo can’t help herself anymore at that nearly loving gesture. Her wall crumbles down. All feeling she keeps inside these few years (guilt, hate, love) force themselves out.

“Talk to me.” Another kiss at her hand. “Talk to me, Soo.”

Jisoo bites her trembling lips. Slowly she opens her mouth only to close it again, unable to says anything. Rosé just waits patiently for her. Jisoo tries again, this time she’s able to let out a shaky voice, “I want…I want to apologize to someone but I don’t know how. Can you…can you tell me how?”

Her voice comes out really vulnerable but Jisoo doesn’t care anymore. Rosé’s right, it’s only a matter of time until everything she bottling up comes to her and finally she has somebody she can talk to. Maybe it’s best for her to just let it out, isn’t it?

“What is it that you want me to tell you?” Rosé asks her softly. Her hands never stop stroking Jisoo’s arm.

“Its how to…”

“How to?”

Jisoo bites her lips again. Her teeth nearly break them but before blood can come out Rosé bring her fingers to Jisoo’s lips. Separating them from her teeth. That gesture gives Jisoo courage to finish her sentence.

“How to apologize to somebody who not in this world anymore.”